


The Day We Met

by Maki_Jss



Category: UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maki_Jss/pseuds/Maki_Jss
Summary: Wooseok and Seungyoun were university classmates, for only a week. And then, Seungyoun left for China, and Wooseok stayed in Korea to become an idol.Five years later, when they met again, some weird chemistry finally sparkled between them. And it is probably called "love"?
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 68
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

After another long day with a full schedule, Wooseok comes back home exhausted. He collapses in his bed and holds his puppy ddadda in hand, “How have you been, kiddo?” “Did you miss dad?” “Did you eat well?”

Ddadda blinks his black bean-like eyes and tilts his head, not sure if he understands everything or not.

Ddadda is a good little puppy. He doesn’t always make noises and doesn’t destroy things “much.” So even with the addition of him, Wooseok’s home is still very quiet most of the time. It doesn’t bother him though, since he loves to be at home alone. However, recently, an unprecedented thought has been hitting his head often, which is, love.

Everything started about three months ago.

There are many award ceremonies in January. Wooseok, a newly debuted soloist, had a few nominations. He knew full well that he wouldn’t get any award since there were huge names also debuted as soloists last year, so whenever he sat with the other artists at the event, he had to pretend to be interested, even though he really just wanted to go home. Thus, after each event is done, he would call his manager immediately and asked to be driven home.

On this day, Wooseok was again the first one who stood up after an award show ended and who walked straight toward the resting area. He called his manager on the way yet got "unfortunate" news:

“Wooseok-ah, I was out buying some food for you but I had an accident with another car! I’m in the hospital now, can you take a taxi tonight? I’m so sorry!” The manager said apologetically on the phone.

“Oh my gosh! Are you ok? Don’t worry about me then. I’ll come to the hospital and see you!” Wooseok was terrified.

“It’s ok. It was a minor injury and I can go to work literally tomorrow morning. I'm in the hospital because the other driver was so nice and drove me here to have a check. Anyway, can you go home by yourself tonight?”

“Of course I can! I’m not a kid, ok?” Wooseok answers with a tiring smile. His manager always treats him like a baby.

Wooseok hung up the phone and walked back to his resting room. He quickly changed to a less fancy outwear and walked towards the door because he wanted to leave before the other artists came back. He didn’t really want to socialize with them and didn’t want to bump into some journalists.

However, he still bumped into someone the moment he walked out of the door. The guy was apparently quite robust since Wooseok was forced to step back due to the hit.

“Ahhh, I’m so sorry!” Wooseok apologized first intuitively.

“I’m sorry!!! It’s my fault!!! Are you ok???” The other guy also apologized anxiously and held Wooseok’s shoulders.

Wooseok was a little shocked by the sudden body touch so he looked up at him, and then, he was even more shocked because—isn’t this Cho Seungyoun? The guy who went to his university a few years ago but disappeared after a week?

“Cho, Cho Seungyoun?” Wooseok tried to call his name.

And the guy who was still holding his shoulders suddenly looked so confused and answered, “How do you know my name?”

“Do you still remember me?” Wooseok asked excitedly.

“I… I’m sorry I don’t know...” The guy answered honestly which made Wooseok feel so embarrassed. But then this guy was smart enough to look at the label on the door and read: “Oh, Kim—Woo—Seok? Hi, nice to meet you.”

_Fine, he doesn’t remember me at all._ Wooseok felt so awkward and said, “Errr… well… we used to be classmates… although you were only there for a week.” He then looked down at the floor hoping there’s a hole for him to go down and disappear. _Also, why is he still holding my shoulders? Should I tell him to let go of me?_ He wondered to himself.

“Wait, really? So you were also from Dong-A Broadcasting University?” This guy aka Cho Seungyoun finally seemed like he remembered something. And instead of letting go of Wooseok, he grabbed him even tighter.

“Errr… yea…” Wooseok nodded and looked at his one shoulder, which made the taller realize what he was doing so he immediately released his hands. However, he was still dramatically excited and said, “So Wooseok, you are a soloist now? Wow, that’s awesome!”

“No… I’m just… I’m new. And I didn’t get any award actually…” Wooseok explained shyly. The glittering eyes of Seungyoun almost burned him and he suddenly felt sorry to disappoint him since he was not really an accomplished artist yet.

“But still! You are awesome! By the way I’m in an international group debuted in China and we were here as ‘special guests’ today. Isn’t it funny? I’m Korean but I’m here as an international guest.” Seungyoun said jokingly.

“Wait, so you were in that… UNIQ group?” Wooseok suddenly remembered that he heard about a group from China just now.

“Right. And I was the rapper guy.”

However, Wooseok was kind of absent-minded, as he always did at award ceremonies. So even though he tried to recall more about that stage, he couldn’t remember any rap part in their performance.

“It’s ok. I know you wouldn’t notice me.” As if he could read minds, Seungyoun immediately helped Wooseok out of the embarrassment.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I was just…” Wooseok wanted to explain but what could he say? Say that he went to the bathroom? That he was uninterested? Any excuse would sound lame right now. But then, he heard a fresh and energetic laugh from Seungyoun. It sounded so carefree and soothing, making him look up at him again. And this time, he suddenly felt like his heart had skipped a beat just by this one look, because the smiling face he saw was so lovely, so familiar, and made him remember something distant…

Nothing has changed about him--Cho Seungyoun--the guy who stood behind him during the orientation, who smiled with his eyes turning into crescents, and who had two cute little dimples on the corners of his lips.

“Where’s your manager? Are you looking for him? You looked worried.” Seungyoun's voice broke his thoughts. 

“Oh, he had a minor car accident and couldn’t come. So I’m about to go home. You?” Wooseok answered.

“I live near here. I just told my manager and members that I’ll stay with my mom tonight so I left them early.” Seungyoun said matter-of-factly.

“Really?”

“Yea, I haven’t seen my mom for a long time. Can’t wait!”

“Ok, then let’s go. I think more people are coming back here soon.” Wooseok never forgot that his mission was to avoid the crowds.

Unexpectedly, Seungyoun said, “Wait, how about I send you home first? Where do you live?”

“What?”

“I forgot to tell you, my mom left her car in the parking lot here because she was shopping in the area earlier today. She wanted me to drive it home. So yea, basically I have a car and can give you a ride.” Seungyoun explained in detail, “And after all, you are an idol, it’s not safe to go home alone. Not to mention that we were old classmates, I need to give you this favor.” Seungyoun winked.

“Is it really ok for you?” Wooseok was hesitant.

“No problem!” Seungyoun naturally held Wooseok’s shoulder again. His arms were strong and had so much strength, which made Wooseok feel like he was being "kidnapped" to the parking lot.

At first, Wooseok thought about to reject him on their way. But he slowly gave up this idea because, for one thing, it was almost 10 pm and must be hard to catch a taxi; and for another, being held by Seungyoun’s strong arms made him feel a weird sense of security, and for some reason, it was comfortable and soothing that he didn’t want to break away quickly. 

Wooseok was surprised when Seungyoun pointed at a luxurious Mercedes Benz in the parking lot. But then he remembered that even back in college, there was a rumor that Seungyoun was from a super-rich family and he only attended school for a week because his family suddenly decided to move to Canada.

Wooseok tried to be calm after getting into the car and fastened the seatbelt carefully. But his nervousness was still shown to Seungyoun, so the taller smiled and reassured him, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kidnap you!”

“What? No! I didn’t think of that,” Wooseok explained uneasily.

“Good then. So where’s your home?” Seungyoun casually tapped on the navigation screen.

Wooseok briefly told him his address, and the next thing he knew, the car was already rushing to the streets. The sudden firing made fierce noise on the tires and the strong pushing almost made Wooseok feel dizzy immediately. _Don’t tell me he’s a racer on the road…_ Wooseok prayed inside.

But good thing that the traffic was terribly jammed outside the venue, so Seungyoun had to drive slowly once they hit the main road. Meanwhile, the condition made Wooseok more thankful that he got this ride because otherwise, he might not find a taxi in hours!

After a minute of silence in the car, Wooseok decided to ask the question that he had been curious about for so long: “So where did you go after the first week of school? Did you just go to China and debut there?” Indeed, it was not uncommon back then to sign to an agency as a student. But not many people did that right after the start of school.

“Yes, the agency was in China. They wanted us to debut quickly and asked if I’d be interested. And I was like, sure, so I left. I tried to finish through online courses, but I got carried away by my job in China…” Seungyoun answered while fixing his eyes on the road.

“I see.” Wooseok followed. And then, the conversation ended here.

Wooseok is not good at socializing and he always felt awkward to start a conversation, so by asking that question just now, it already consumed all his ideas and courage. And now, he sat back in awkwardness again.

Thankfully, Seungyoun was quite outgoing and he then began to lead the conversation.

“But I’m happy you remember me! I didn’t tell anyone why I left college and I didn’t have time to make friends at that university…”

“Ah… it’s actually because… you stood behind me on the day of orientation… we were both late and…” Wooseok actually remembered everything from the orientation day now, yet it kind of embarrassed him to tell what happened that day.

“Oh, really? Maybe you were right. I seldom got up before noon back in that summer break and one day my mom kicked me out of bed to go to the orientation… I was totally unprepared haha.” Seungyoun had this vague memory in his head.

“Ye… Yea…” Wooseok was quite hesitant to follow because he was so silly and clumsy on that day that, not only did he arrive late, but he even had a heatstroke and was carried by Seungyoun to the school clinic... Ah, it was such a stupid episode that he didn’t really want to remind Seungyoun about.

Luckily, Seungyoun spoke again and changed a topic, “Hey, how about we drive along the Han River? I haven’t seen it for a long time. Do you mind?”

“I’m fine. But don’t you want to see your mom?” Wooseok said.

“Oh whatever, she’ll be home anyway. I can just tell her that I’ll be late. And I like being with you, you are interesting.” Seungyoun said.

 _Interesting?_ Wooseok pondered on this word and didn’t really know what it meant since they hadn’t talked a lot yet. However, he was secretly delighted by this word at the same time. In fact, there is this “thing” in Wooseok’s personality: since he doesn’t have many friends, whenever someone treats him nicely, he would be super excited internally and want to pay back a million times more. So the fact that he suddenly reunited with an old classmate who was so friendly and passionate had already made him happy and thankful for the night.

So, Seungyoun called his mom, told her that he would give a ride to a friend, and would be home later than planned. Next, he made a sudden U-turn on the road and hit another direction toward the Han River. Again, Wooseok was dazed by his driving skills but thankfully the road was not busy anymore.

“So how’s your solo career?” Seungyoun began to ask more questions.

“Emm… just so-so I guess,” Wooseok contemplated and said, “I have a bunch of loyal fans, but it’s quite difficult to make a big influence as a soloist, you know…”

“Then why didn’t your agency put you in a group?” Seungyoun was curious, but then he immediately blamed himself, “Ah, sorry, that was a stupid question. It must be that you are good at being solo, haha.”

Wooseok smiled at his words and shook his head, “No, I was in a group at first, but something happened and I had nowhere to go… Then, the agency just randomly placed me in a solo position.”

“Shush! Don’t say that!” Seungyoun suddenly made a stop in front of the red light and naturally put his index finger on Wooseok’s lips. Wooseok was stunned by his action and was more speechless when he found that Seungyoun looked dead serious and said to him, “It was definitely because you had the ability and talent to be a solo artist! It was not a random decision. Because if they didn’t care about you, they would just kick you out, right?”

Wooseok had never been stopped by someone else’s finger on his mouth. He could clearly feel the power and determination in this tiny touch. It was so uplifting and inspiring, making him feel a little better about his unconfident self almost instantly. He wanted to see Seungyoun more clearly, but it was too dark in the car.

In fact, Seungyoun was also a bit surprised by himself after putting his finger on Wooseok’s lips. The lips were so plumpy and he suddenly realized that there was no need to do such an intimate action…

"Thankfully," a car behind them honked impatiently, which kind of saved the situation because both of them started to feel awkward. Seungyoun hurriedly started the car and of course, it scared Wooseok again.

“Oops, sorry. This car has too much horsepower.” Seungyoun explained.

“It’s… it’s ok.” Wooseok calmed his chest, “but why do you have to rush?”

“Really? I didn’t.” Seungyoun defended but then noticed that he was already speeding. Ah, it was all because of just now… because of the feeling of Wooseok’s lips and because of that innocent, watery, and shiny eyes in the dark. It was just a second but Seungyoun definitely felt something weird in his heart… To be more specific, he found that Wooseok was so pretty, and it was an unworldly pretty. Wooseok looked like a doll, and his lips felt… so soft…

Seungyoun coughed unnaturally to shake these strange feelings away.

“Ah! It’s the Han River!” This time, it was Wooseok who broke the silence. Seungyoun also took a glimpse of the view outside, and yes, it was Han River! The beautiful river that he’d been missing a lot. It finally felt like home.

“How long haven’t you been here?” Wooseok asked.

“About three years,” Seungyoun answered.

“Wow, that’s indeed a long time! Seoul has changed a lot.” Wooseok said while looking outside enthusiastically. Strange, he always passed by the Han River on the way to work but never paid attention to how beautiful it is. And now with Seungyoun, he began to find the beauty of the Han River at night more than ever.

“Oh really? But I’ll only be here for five days so I guess I won’t have time to explore the changes.” Seungyoun said.

“That’s a shame…” Wooseok sighed and turned around to look at him. Suddenly, an idea hit him: “How about we stop at a place now so you can take a look at the river? You’ve been driving and can’t actually see how beautiful it is outside.”

“Ok!” Seungyoun answered crisply. Actually, he only planned to drive by the river and have a quick look, but now that Wooseok came up with this idea, it sounded even better.

Two minutes later, they found a parking lot. But Wooseok suddenly felt unsure. He wondered if he raised a bad idea because Seungyoun actually wanted to go home and see his mom. Even giving him a ride was an extra favor, yet now he’s wasting Seungyoun’s time by asking him to make an extra stop… Again, he thought it was because he got too excited when someone made him feel happy, and as a result, he forgot to consider how others really feel… Moreover, when he opened the car door, he was even more regret because: damn, it was freezing!!!

However, it was his idea, he couldn’t just sit back and let Seungyoun go alone. So he ended up getting out of the car and hugging himself tightly. He didn’t wear much because usually he would be sent home by his manager already. And now, with only a thin cardigan as an outwear, he began to shake in the cold winter night.

Nevertheless, he had to admit that the view was amazing! Since it was cold and late at night, the touristy road along the Han River was empty, and the city lights on the other side of the river exhibited a fancy skyline. He could also see several bridges across the river, each one had its own decoration and charms in the dark.

And when Seungyoun got off the car, he immediately became speechless, too. Unlike Wooseok who leaned on the car to appreciate the scene, Seungyoun excitedly ran toward the river and started to take photos. This finally made Wooseok feel less “guilty” because apparently Seungyoun enjoyed this impromptu stop as much as he did.

After another while, Seungyoun finally noticed that Wooseok was still standing near the car, looking "frozen." He hurriedly ran back and had a very concerned expression on his face: “Are you cold? Awww… I’m sorry. Here, wear my coat.” And without Wooseok even saying anything back, a huge leather jacket was already placed on his shoulders, which felt like a back hug.

Wooseok almost tripped himself when he felt the weight on the back. In fact, he was not really a fragile person but maybe it was because he didn’t eat much yet. Or, it was because he had been thinking about their orientation day, and the memories somehow made him a little emotional and weak…


	2. Chapter 2

Five years ago. The end of August. Orientation day.

Seoul hadn’t been this hot for years. 

The start time for the orientation at the Dong-A Broadcasting University was 9 am. Although Wooseok was seldom late for anything, that morning he was a total mess. At first, he couldn’t find his wallet, and then there was a glitch on his huge suitcase. So by the time he finally got out of the busy subway and reached the university, it was already 9 am. Moreover, as a quiet and shy boy who just came to Seoul from a much smaller city, the crowds outside the school gate was enough to intimidate him. Thankfully, an orientation staff finally noticed this confused boy and led him to his department where everyone was already queuing up and waiting for the headteacher to give a boring speech.

Wooseok stood at the end of the line and of course, he was still confused because everyone seemed taller than him and he couldn’t hear what the teacher was saying in the front. So he decided to give up and just standing under the scorching sun. 

It was rare that the temperature at 9 am would be this deadly, but that was what happened that day. Wooseok didn’t know how long he needed to be standing there waiting for the teacher’s speech to end. Meanwhile, when the students in front of him got bored and started to talk and socialize, he was too shy to join them. As a result, he just sat on top of his huge suitcase and used a piece of paper as a fan to cool himself down. He stared at the shadow of a big tree on the ground not so far away and wished that he could actually rest there. Just as he was about to pass out, a tall shadow suddenly appeared in his sight. He naturally looked up and saw a guy who was wearing a Hawaiian style shirt, biting on a popsicle, and was also looking at him from above.

“Is this the line for the broadcasting and acting department?” The tall guy who had provided Wooseok with a much-needed shade asked.

To Wooseok, this must be a cool and rich guy from some Chaebol group because he looked so unbothered and chill; and unlike himself, he had no luggage. Wooseok quickly glanced at him and then answered indifferently, “Yes, it is.”

“Wow!!! Awesome!!! So I’m not _that_ late!!!” The guy seemed overly ecstatic about Wooseok’s answer and then said, “the driver took the wrong route and almost sent me to another district.”

Wooseok didn’t know what to respond so he just smiled awkwardly.

“So I guess we are going to be classmates, huh? What’s your name? I’m Cho Seungyoun.” The "Chaebol's son" finished his popsicle and threw the stick into a trashcan not so far away.

Usually, Chaebol boys like this would probably make Wooseok feel scared and intimidated, but for some reason, he looked at this one and felt that he might be a little friendlier than the ones in stereotypes. Maybe because he's been acting unbothered and weird, or maybe it's because he smiled a lot. So Wooseok decided to put down his guard and said, “My name is Kim Wooseok.”

Realizing their height difference since he was still sitting on his suitcase, Wooseok tried to stand up. However, the moment he pulled his one leg out of the space in between the suitcase’s pulling bar, he almost tripped himself because apparently, his feet had gone numb…

“Hahaha—” The "Chaebol's boy" Cho Seungyoun burst out some dramatic laughter which attracted several people in front of them. Wooseok was so embarrassed by his own clumsiness and people's attention that he just wanted to disappear right away. But then, a spill of dizziness suddenly hit him hard. He couldn’t see things clearly and felt a pointy headache. Before realizing what was going on, his world abruptly became dark...

After a few seconds, when he was back to his senses, he was already in someone’s arms.

“Teacher!!! A student here has a heatstroke!”

“Teacher! Where’s the clinic?”

“Teacher! Please come here!”

Oh, these were the only sound Wooseok could hear.

_Wait, am I having a heatstroke?_ Wooseok wondered to himself. He tried to move but couldn’t even feel his own body. Everything was vague and far, but among all the chaotic sounds surrounding him, he felt that someone suddenly held him up in a “princess hug way” and started walking.

_But how about my suitcase? My suitcase!_ Wooseok was shouting in his head but he was too weak to make any sound. He felt so embarrassed yet powerless. Finally, he surrendered and decided to rest in the arms of whoever this person was.

When he opened his eyes again, he was already lying on a white bed. He noticed that he was taking an injection, which scared him a bit. But as he blinked his eyes and tried to retract some memories, he recalled that he was passed out under the sun just now and was sent to the school clinic. Ah, what a bad "first day of school." He sighed internally. He was late, he made himself a fool in front of some future classmates, and now he's even in the clinic not knowing what's gonna happen next... But, a minute passed, he suddenly heard the door opening; and next, the “Chaebol's boy” walked in. 

_What was his name? Cho… Cho Seungyoun?_

“Ah, you are awake!” The moment their eyes met, Seungyoun looked excited again and immediately pulled a chair and sat by Wooseok’s bed.

“Did I have a heatstroke? Why am I taking an injection now?” Wooseok was pretty sure it was Seungyoun who carried him to the clinic given all the information he had gathered so far, so he wanted to make sure what happened.

“You didn’t eat anything this morning, right? You are so thin, how can you not eat breakfast? No wonder you passed out!” Seungyoun said while taking a chocolate bar from his pocket, “I just bought this for you, now eat it.”

“But I don’t like chocolate,” Wooseok said in return, but he immediately felt bad because he shouldn’t be this ungrateful.

“So what do you like to eat then?” Good thing that Seungyoun was not offended at all.

“Chicken feet. And other spicy stuff… I think…”

“Hahahaha, what the heck?” Seungyoun laughed out loud again. Wooseok blushed by his reaction, and of course, his own silliness. But then he also noticed that this Chaebol boy had a quite high pitch tone, and looked… kinda cute when he laughs, because his eyes would turn crescent, and there were two little dimples at the end of his lips.

“Did you take me here? Thank you!” Wooseok sounded weak but he finally gave his thanks.

“It’s no big deal. You were not heavy. And now I can also be in an air-conditioned room instead of standing under the sun.” Seungyoun seemed so chill and unbothered. He answered while making a big stretch on the chair.

“But how about other students? Where are they? How about the orientation? Is it ok that you are here with me?” Wooseok asked worrisomely. Moreover, he suddenly remembered that he still had a big suitcase and where would it be? He didn’t want to ask Seungyoun now because he already felt very silly to cause a scene on the orientation day. But Seungyoun somehow guessed his mind and said, “Oh, by the way, your suitcase is in our head teacher’s office. I can go to get it for you now.”

“It’s ok. I can go myself.” Wooseok said hurriedly because he didn’t want to cause more trouble to this seemingly very nice classmate.

“No need to be courteous! My mom and that teacher are friends and I can bother her anytime. Moreover, we are now classmates. It’s normal for us to help each other out, right?” Seungyoun said passionately. Wooseok didn’t know why he would be this energetic and happy all the time, but it was kind of fun to watch.

And then, Seungyoun suddenly remembered something, he peeled that chocolate bar’s package and moved it closer to Wooseok’s mouth and said, “Just take one bite, ok?”

Wooseok was quite surprised if not startled when Seungyoun held this chocolate bar in front of him. _Is he trying to feed me?_ _I’m not a kid._ He wondered. But as Seungyoun’s eyes seemed so determined and even lifted his chin upward, Wooseok knew that he was insisting him to eat it. _Fine_ , Wooseok frowned and slowly took one bite of that chocolate bar in Seungyoun’s hand. Since it was summer and Seungyoun just bought it, the chocolate was slightly melting, but the taste was not that bad. In fact, it was probably the tastiest chocolate bar Wooseok had ever had.

“Isn’t it delicious? I bought the most expensive one for you, haha.” Seungyoun seemed very happy that Wooseok finally took a bite, so he peeled the paper down a little more and sent it to Wooseok’s mouth again, “Now have another bite. Don’t waste my mind for you.”

“Errr… ok…” Wooseok had no excuse to reject such words, so he took another bite. He was still surprised, though, that a “Chaebol’s boy” would treat him this nicely and even feed him chocolate. In the end, he even finished the whole thing without noticing…

“See, you can do it!” Seungyoun praised Wooseok as if he’s a little kid, “Our Wooseokie is a good boy. Don’t skip breakfast again, ok?”

Wooseok’s face turned so red when hearing this. It’s just so embarrassing, but at the same time, weirdly soothing?! Seungyoun was like a big brother taking care of him and it actually felt nice.

“Do you want to take another nap? I’ll call the nurse when you finish the injection.” Seungyoun kept talking.

“I, I’m not sleepy anymore.” Wooseok quickly answered. It would be against his morale to ask a person whom he just met for the first time today to do more for him at this point.

“Really? Tell you what, I’m actually a little sleepy now. I usually woke up at 2 pm before today, haha. But then my mom kicked me out of the house this morning to come to the orientation and now I’m exhausted.” The way Seungyoun told Wooseok about his life was so vivid and the weak couldn't help but slightly smiled. And then, he saw Seungyoun sat on the bed next to him and collapsed in it like a broken toy. Within 10 seconds, Wooseok could even hear him snoring. It was at this moment that he felt that the crazy tempo since this morning had finally slowed down.

He quietly gazed at Seungyoun and thought to himself, what a nice person! Although he looked "too cool" at first, he was actually quite friendly and caring. Maybe they could become friends? Now he felt a sense of relief because he was so worried that he would not make any friends at the new school, but it seemed that the first day's encounter had made him closer to at least one of the classmates already.

Seungyoun was tall that the bed at the clinic couldn’t really contain his whole height. Also, he was really strong that one could clearly see the beautiful muscle lines under his shirt. Wooseok silently scans him and even noticed that he was still smiling while sleeping, which was really cute. _He will definitely be an excellent idol in the near future._ Wooseok thought, _he’s got everything_.

However, all of a sudden, Wooseok found something that was “not so perfect” about him—his small hands! Seungyoun was in deep sleep and he put his hands on his stomach. They were quite small and chubby that Wooseok couldn’t help but smiled again, so cute! Like a kid’s hands!

_Wait, isn’t this the second time of the day that I found him cute?_

***

Back to January at the Han Riverside.

_Yes, his hands!_ Wooseok suddenly remembered and laid his eyes on Seungyoun’s hands. They were still the same. Small and chubby and cute. Wooseok looked away and giggled.

“I can just drive you home. I don’t want to make you sick.” Seungyoun didn’t know that Wooseok was laughing at him, he just knew that Wooseok looked cold, so he raised this idea.

“It’s ok. I have your jacket now. It’s really warm.” Wooseok answered. To him, it was quite possible that Seungyoun hadn't changed much and if he still had that kind of high tension like before, he wouldn't really want to just go home. He would want to explore more.

“Oh really? Then how about we walk to that fountain over there and then come back?” Seungyoun seemed excited again. See, Wooseok was totally right about him.

Seungyoun began to sprint by the river, and Wooseok followed his steps behind. It was a 200 meters’ walk to that fountain and for some reason, Wooseok just couldn’t stop smiling. He felt so happy and fulfilled in such a cold night—he met his “first friend” in Seoul at an award ceremony, and now they are touring the Han River together. What a beautiful reunion, even though the “Chaebol’s boy” seemed to have forgotten about everything already.

Now Wooseok didn’t feel cold at all; instead, there was even some fire inside his body. He felt more comfortable and wanted to tease Seungyoun. So he ran toward him and asked, “Hey, have people told you that you have really small hands?”

“Ahhhh~~~~ No way!! How can you find this so quickly!?” Unsurprisingly, Seungyoun reacted dramatically, “All my members are laughing at my hands and my fans also know. This is my only complex, ok?! How come you find out today as well?” Seungyoun pouted at Wooseok.

Wooseok smiled and didn’t say a word.

_I didn’t just “find out today,” dear friend._


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night, Seungyoun drove Wooseok home safely. When Wooseok thanked him and opened the car door, Seungyoun said: “Let’s exchange our contact info!”

Wooseok was happy that Seungyoun mentioned it because he totally forgot. And obviously, he didn’t want to lose contact with this old classmate again. 

“It’s almost midnight. I’m sorry to keep you so late… your mom must be worried,” Wooseok apologized to Seungyoun before he left.

“It’s fine. It was I who asked you to accompany me anyway,” Seungyoun smiled and waved at him. It’s really cold now, he wanted this "little boy" to go inside quickly.

Wooseok nodded and ran toward his apartment building. Before entering the gate, he looked back and waved goodbye to Seungyoun again. Somehow, Seungyoun’s heart skipped a beat because the scene made him feel like he was saying goodbye to his (imagined) girlfriend or something. But of course, he quickly shook off this thought and finally drove for home.

In fact, Wooseok was extremely excited after entering the apartment lobby. It was supposed to be a boring night but ended up in such a surprising and fun way. In the past five years, he wouldn’t think of Seungyoun, but as they met again, he was happy (and a little embarrassed) to recall the past memory. Not to mention that Seungyoun seemed unchanged, still warm-hearted and kind. Wooseok looked at the number that they just exchanged, and couldn’t stop smiling.

On the other hand, when Seungyoun arrived home, he found that his mom was still in the living room waiting for him. He felt sorry so he gave her a big hug.

"I'm back mom."

“Who’s the classmate?” Mrs. Cho asked.

“A guy from Dong-A University. I was only there for a week but he remembers me still. By the way mom, do I still have the class photo from Dong-A?”

“Of course. I put it in the drawer near your bed. Ok, now since you’re back, I’m going to sleep. It’s quite late. Let’s catch up tomorrow morning then.”

“Thanks for waiting for me, mom. Love you!” Seungyoun sweetly thanked his mom and then ran back to his own room and opened that drawer which he hadn’t paid attention to for years. And indeed, there was a big photo with over a hundred students in it. It was taken in the first week of school when he was still there. There were names of everyone on the back of the photo, so Seungyoun carefully pointed his finger on every name and finally found “Kim Wooseok.”

Ah, no wonder he had no memory of Wooseok. Wooseok looked so small in the photo and they were literally standing on the farthest ends of the whole ensemble. Now Seungyoun looked at that tiny little face on the photo and unconsciously whispered, “Emmm, you become more beautiful now.” 

But this thought immediately scared him. The scene of them looking at each other in the car just now, the way he unwittingly pressed his finger on Wooseok’s lips, the fact that he saw him off as if Wooseok was his “girlfriend” … all came back to his head and puzzled him. They were just two classmates who hadn’t seen each other for five years, how come now he had an itchy feeling in his heart? How come he wanted to describe him as “beautiful?” How come he felt like tonight shouldn’t be the “end”?

The next day, Seungyoun spent the morning with his mom and then went to a radio show with his group members. For the next few days, he and his group members were still busy going to small showcases and programs to promote themselves. Their agency planned an intense schedule for them to promote in Korea this week, but it was unsurprising that they were not really popular since they were just an “international boy group with some Korean members.” Seungyoun was a little disappointed by this, but he told himself that as long as they got jobs, he shouldn’t be complaining.

On the last night in Seoul, he decided to leave the hotel and meet his old friends from high school.

Meanwhile, Wooseok had been busy in the following days after meeting Seungyoun, too. He recorded in several music shows and a variety program and used the rest of his free time practicing a new dance. Although he would sometimes think about that night with Seungyoun by the Han River, he didn’t allow himself to be indulged in it. Actually, after that night, he calmed down a lot and reflected that he was probably overreacting about a simple reunion. Again, it was just his personality: as soon as someone treats him nicely, he would be super happy. _Maybe I shouldn't be this excited, it's just an old friend and he might have already forgotten about me now._ He thought to himself. 

However, four nights later, Wooseok still remembered that Seungyoun mentioned that he would be in Seoul for five days. _Did he leave today? Tomorrow?_ Wooseok wondered in between his schedules, just out of curiosity.

***

Itaewon area. Inside a rooftop bar.

“It’s dangerous for an idol to be here at night, you know,” Seungyoun's high school friend A teased him.

“I’m not here for clubbing or hitting on girls, ok? I’m just drinking with you guys!” Seungyoun wasn’t worried at all.

“But seriously, don’t drink too much. Your flight to China is tomorrow morning, right?” friend B asked.

“And… no one knows me here. So technically I’m not even a public figure…” Seungyoun ignored him and continued his self-deprecating thoughts. His two friends exchanged a look as if they came to the conclusion that Seungyoun was already drunk.

“It’s ok, buddy. There are so many idols and groups now and it takes time to become popular. You need to be patient. And if you really can’t make it big in another few years, come back and let’s just make music together. You like it too, don’t you?” friend A held up his cup and tried to reassure Seungyoun, who seemed quite depressed tonight.

Seungyoun didn't reply to him. Instead, he looked at the Mt. Namsan and lost in undescribable thoughts. Maybe he was indeed tipsy since he’s not good at drinking anyway. But the reason he asked his friends to come to a bar tonight instead of other places was that he missed the view of this rooftop as well as the old days with them. However, through their conversation, he found out that these two had been doing much better than he did. As producers and musicians, they had their music studios and published several popular songs for web dramas already. Meanwhile, he was still an “idol” that no one really knew. He began to question his life choice. He didn’t think much into the future when he left for China years ago. He only thought it would be fun to go to another country and debut soon. But now, looking at his friends all being happy and productive, he felt weird, and maybe jealous. However, he didn’t want to complain to them a lot because that would make him like a loser, so he ended up drinking more than he should.

“Ok enough, you can’t drink more. We can’t take the responsibility if you missed your flight tomorrow,” friend A finally stopped Seungyoun from taking another shot of soju. As his life-long friends, these two knew that Seungyoun was in a difficult stage. However, sometimes friends’ suggestions can be really useless, and they believed that Seungyoun would have to figure out his future by himself.

To lighten the atmosphere, friend A shifted to B, “Let’s talk about something else. How’s your girlfriend? Has she graduated from college?”

However, before B even answered, Seungyoun suddenly chimed in, “Darn it! Maybe I should get a girlfriend instead since nobody cares about me anyway…” And then he hit his head on the table. How come every topic raised by these two could bother him tonight? 

“Hey, remember how popular you were back in high school? That was why you wanted to pursue a career as an idol, right? You wanted to be ‘everyone’s Cho Seungyoun’ instead of fixing on one girl. Haha, I can’t with you, you were such a snob back then,” friend A then recalled and joked about their shared past.

“Yea… I wish I could be a high school student forever. I was popular. I was fearless. I wasn’t worried about anything…” Seungyoun murmured with one side of his face lying on the glass table. It made him feel cooler. And then he looked at the shimmering lights on the Mt. Namsan from afar, and for some reason, a name suddenly came to his fuzzy head: Kim Wooseok.

_Fine, another successful classmate…_

“You know what, I think we should send you back to your hotel,” friend B began to worry about Seungyoun who seemed more and more drunk.

“No! I want to be here a little bit more… I feel hot…” Seungyoun muttered.

It was winter. Even though they were sitting on the rooftop, their drinks and the heat surrounding them had actually made the environment quite warm and comfortable. And for Seungyoun, it made him dizzy and sleepy, and maybe a little out of his mind.

“Do you guys know Kim Wooseok?” He suddenly asked.

“Of course. He’s quite popular now. I had a colleague who wrote a song for his debut album,” friend A answered.

“He’s really good-looking and has a lot of fans, both males and females, haha,” friend B added.

_Yea, good-looking indeed._

Seungyoun shifted the other side of his face to lie on the cold table. He looked at friend A listlessly for a while and then said, “How about we asking him to hang out with us?”

“Huh? What do you mean? You are so drunk.” Friend A seemed confused.

“We were classmates back in college… I want to see him now! I want to hang out with him now!” Seungyoun insisted like a willful kid. 

“What? How come I don’t know?”

“University… we were… university classmates… for a week,” Seungyoun answered with a tiddly smile.

“Ok, then ask him to come. Do you have his number?” Friend B just decided to go with the flow.

“Sure…” Seungyoun began to look for Wooseok’s number. In fact, when he heard his friend saying that Wooseok was “good-looking,” he suddenly had a competitive feeling in mind and came up with this idea to call him. He recalled that he was stunned by the "good-looking" Wooseok in his own car just a few days ago, and now, somehow, he wanted to see that beautiful face again. 

_Am I really drunk? Whatever._

Wooseok was definitely surprised when he saw “Cho Seungyoun” on his cellphone screen since he had been thinking about him today, too.

“Wooseok-ah, what are you doing?” The moment he picked up the phone, Seungyoun’s sloppy voice came out. It sounded a little different from four nights ago.

“I’m about to go home, you? You still in Seoul? Are you leaving tomorrow?” Wooseok asked, like a friend.

“Yea, I’m leaving tomorrow. Let’s meet now, ‘old classmate.’”

“Old classmate” … Wooseok didn’t know how he felt about this title. It didn’t sound familiar, nor foreign. He didn’t know if he really liked it.

“Where are you?” Wooseok replied anyway.

“Itaewon. XX bar. Is it okay for you to come now, Mr. super idol?”

“You drunk?” Wooseok asked cautiously. 

“Not really, just a normal amount. So, are you coming?”

Wooseok knew that place. It was a nice and quiet rooftop bar, so it should be safe for him to go and have a few drinks with an "old classmate" there. So he agreed. Also, he was a little worried about Seungyoun who sounded tipsy if not drunk on the phone.

_I'm just going to check on him as a friend, that’s all._

Wooseok’s manager drove him to the bar and then left. Wooseok walked to the rooftop and, although he had bad eyesight, he could tell that Seungyoun was that tall guy who was collapsing on the table a few meters away.

Since it was not weekend, the rooftop was not crowded and no one noticed Wooseok--a quite famous idol--was coming. Wooseok walked toward the guy who he believed was Seungyoun, and as he got closer, he realized that there were actually two other people sitting at the same table.

He didn’t expect to see this, though. He thought Seungyoun was alone and asked him out. So for a moment, Wooseok was disappointed.

“Wow, the superstar is here. Seungyoun, wake up!" Meanwhile, the two friends were quite excited to see Wooseok coming. 

“Hello Wooseok-ssi, so we are Seungyoun’s high school friends. I'm A and this is B. We both make music. Just now he said you were his university classmate and wanted to invite you to drink with us,” friend A then explained to Wooseok since the "superstar" looked a little fazed. 

“Come on, sit down. He’s drunk, don’t worry.” Friend B pulled a chair from the table next to theirs, indicating Wooseok to relax.

Wooseok was not good at this, not good at dealing with people he didn’t know. So he tried his best to put on a friendly smile and sat down awkwardly. Nevertheless, his eyes had never left Seungyoun. He was truly worried because he didn't know how drunk Seungyoun was. And if he's really drunk, how should he deal with the current situation with these two strangers?

Thankfully, Seungyoun sat up from his daydream after half a minute, probably because he sensed a pair of sharp eyes fixing on him. He looked around and finally noticed Wooseok, who was wearing a beige coat and a sky blue beret on his head… _Ah, what a cutie_ … and this cutie is staring at him with complicated emotions in his big doe eyes.

Snap!

Seungyoun abruptly came back to his senses. Or maybe, he was woken up by such a beautiful, unworldly face.

“Wait, Wooseok! Why are you here? I mean, you are really here!” Seungyoun gasped.

Wooseok’s heart sank almost instantly: “What do you mean? Was it a prank to ask me to come?”

“No, no. I didn’t mean that. I was just… I thought I called you in my dream…” Seungyoun answered panickily, but truthfully. He then pulled his chair near Wooseok, but Wooseok looked away uncomfortably. For some reason, this move made Seungyoun super worried all of a sudden, and he leaned forward and placed his hands on Wooseok’s knees, “I’m sorry, Wooseokie. I just really wanted to see you so I called you. Don’t be mad at me, ok?” Seungyoun didn't even know why he was this eager to apologize, but he would hate to make Wooseok angry at him.

Now, his two friends exchanged a meaningful look. To them, what was going on in front of their eyes was like a couple’s quarrel, that Seungyoun must have done something to Wooseok and he wanted to be forgiven. So that was why he insisted on calling him to come. 

But Wooseok was surprised by Seungyoun’s sincere apology, too. He didn’t mean to give him a hard time by asking if he was making a prank. But now it seemed that Seungyoun was really guilty. So he softened his voice and said, “I wasn’t mad at you.” And instantly, Seungyoun let out a long-relieved sigh and said, “I’m leaving Seoul tomorrow morning, and I really want to see you before I go.”

Friend A whistled at the “couple.”

It was quite obvious to Wooseok that Seungyoun was drunk, but the words he said still made him happy. People always speak the truth when they are drunk, and it feels nice to be needed, no matter by whom. Since Seungyoun wanted to see him again before leaving tomorrow, this was enough to make his detour here tonight worthwhile. However, the witty whistle by Seungyoun’s friend somehow confused him. He looked at Friend A innocently and unexpectedly, friend A seemed to be stunned--because of how beautiful Wooseok was in person. 

“Ok, we should leave,” friend B who was more agile to “read the air” patted A on the shoulder, “Your eyes are fixed on Wooseok and that creeps me out. I know he’s pretty but we should go.”

Of course, Wooseok heard it, too. But since many people use the word “pretty” or “beautiful” to praise him, he didn't really mind. Also, he always believed that he had a quite "manly" heart so even though he might look fragile on the surface, he never had any complex about it. 

Wooseok saw Seungyoun’s two friends off and then sat down again. Seungyoun was still lying on the table and half of his face looked really red. Now, Wooseok suddenly felt that everything that happened in the past few minutes was, in fact, quite awkward. But at least the two strangers had left and only he and Seungyoun were together now, even though Seungyoun didn’t seem sober at all. (🙄)


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey, Seungyoun, are you ok?” Wooseok waved his hand in front of Seungyoun’s eyes. Honestly, seeing Seungyoun like this, he didn’t think he should be drinking tonight. Although Seungyoun was not like wasted, he thought he’d probably still have to send him home later on.

“Wooseok-ah…” The way Seungyoun called his name always felt so sincere and familiar as if he was calling a life-long friend.

“Are you a lightweight drinker? Your face is so red now. Shall we go inside?” Wooseok asked.

“Oh? Ok.” Seungyoun answered and then lifted his two arms as if he wanted Wooseok to pull him up from the chair.

Wooseok was taken aback for a second since he thought this request felt a little too intimate, but then he decided to pull him out just so that they could leave this cold place. Usually, the drunk person feels heavier than they actually are, so Wooseok pulled him hard and almost tripped himself in between the chairs and hugged the taller. Luckily, he managed to keep his balance. However, the sudden close-up with Seungyoun made his heart already beat fast.

Seungyoun burst out laughing. His eyes turned thin and crescent and his lips lifted up lovingly. They were standing so close to each other that their legs were literally intertwined. He gazed into Wooseok’s eyes under the moonlight and wondered why he had no memory of such a beautiful “classmate” before. Wooseok was so pretty, like a doll, and made him want to hold tight in his chest. Too bad the hug didn’t happen a few seconds ago.

As Seungyoun stood up, he finally felt the coldness on the rooftop. And as he also noticed that Wooseok was still holding his hands, he decided to “act drunk” a little longer.

Seungyoun wasn’t sure why he made this decision. He knew he was tipsy but not totally drunk. So maybe he was in this state where he was more candid with his true feelings? Like he actually wanted to admit that he was interested in Wooseok, in a somewhat sexual way? He had never been interested in men, but Wooseok made him feel things, things that remind him of when he fell in love with girls, or maybe, something like that but not quite. Anyway, he wanted to explore this feeling more. 

Wooseok held Seungyoun’s hand and led him inside. They sat at the long bar table as the only customers. It was unknown who released the hand first, but Seungyoun was secretly happy that Wooseok seemed normal with the fact that they were holding hands for a long time just now.

The bartender then came: “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Well, I want…” Seungyoun began to order but was immediately stopped by Wooseok’s blaming stare, “He wants nothing, just some water would be fine, and me too.” Wooseok said to the bartender instead.

“Hey!” Seungyoun protested.

“You can’t drink anymore. You are leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?” Wooseok scolded him.

Oh, again, everyone was reminding him that he’s leaving tomorrow… Seungyoun sighed and pouted, “That’s why I want to drink more.”

“Why? You don’t want to leave?”

“My home is here, but I haven’t really stayed in Korea much in my life,” Seungyoun said with a bitter smile.

“Then why didn’t you spend tonight with your parents?” Wooseok asked.

“Errr… well…” This question was quite sharp that Seungyoun suddenly didn’t know how to answer. Wooseok actually also felt a bit regret for saying that after saying Seungyoun's uneasiness. He blamed himself secretly: _he just didn’t want to leave his hometown, why would you say something that mean to him???_ Wooseok then took a sip of water, trying to ease how inconsiderate he was. And then he decided to change a topic by saying, “Why did your friends leave when I came?”

“Them? Maybe they were sleepy so they left,” Seungyoun answered quickly but was actually surprised by how innocent Wooseok was. “But didn’t you feel uncomfortable when they were together with us? You are an idol and they are just… ordinary people,” he added to sound normal. 

Wooseok shrugged, not because he agreed that there was this gap between their positions, but that he was indeed not good at dealing with unknown people.

“You are an idol, too,” Wooseok said.

“But no one knows me here,” Seungyoun said in return.

_Oops,_ Wooseok realized that he did it again, leading a conversation to the end. He was really bad at chatting, he had to admit it.

“Don’t, don’t say that,” Wooseok tried to save the conversation, “It’s because you debuted in China, that’s why people haven’t heard about you here yet.”

“Actually, not many people know me in China, either,” Seungyoun said matter-of-factly. He drank up all the water in his glass, and suddenly looked at Wooseok straight in the eyes, “I think… I want to give up.”

“Give up? You don’t want to be an idol anymore?” Wooseok seemed so shocked all of a sudden. His doe eyes widened, and he repeated Seungyoun’s words in disbelief.

“Well, at least I want to come back to Korea first. I’ve been feeling tired. My language is not that good and I don’t have many friends in China. Our group is not really popular, and I don’t see any future…” Seungyoun said all this in one breath and even himself was surprised afterward. He never said this or complained about his life in China to anyone, except now to Wooseok. _Ah, maybe I’m really drunk_ , he thought.

But Wooseok took these words all in, and somehow, he felt uneasy. 

“Is it because you never liked your job? Is it that you don’t feel happy in your group and you have no strength and reasons to keep going? Then why did you choose this career and go to China in the first place? Was it because you like music? Or you just wanted to be famous? Or something else?” Wooseok asked seriously.

Seungyoun was stunned. He was surprised that Wooseok would suddenly become angry and scold him for real. Don’t people normally say something nice to comfort you when you feel down or complain about your job? Why was Wooseok acting so different? Such unexpectedness made Seungyoun quite confused and embarrassed, and then he stood up and said, “I’ll go to the bathroom.”

Wooseok sat on the chair and watched him leave. He then swirled back to face the bartender’s direction. It was then that he suddenly came back to his stable senses and realized that he might have said something “unpleasant” for his old classmate to hear.

_Wait, did I just make him mad? Oh no… I shouldn’t be so stubborn and serious… he was just unhappy and drunk, why would I say those things???_ The regrets filled his brain like an aftershock. Maybe he shouldn’t take Seungyoun as a close friend… they were just former classmates for a week, and he shouldn’t have commented on Seungyoun’s life because he didn't really know everything he had been through…

At this time, the bartender came to him again and poured more water into the empty glasses. This man looked like in his 30s and had a very dandy style with that slick back hair and mustache. Wooseok nodded to him as a gratitude for the service, yet the bartender began to talk: “You don’t want to go to check on him?”

“What?”

“I mean, he likes you a lot.”

“What?”

“The way he looked at you… He was like looking at the most precious thing in his life.”

“…” Wooseok looked genuinely confused.

“Wait, don’t tell me you two are not… Sorry, I thought you were on a first date.” The bartender became a little embarrassed and apologized to Wooseok.

Now Wooseok realized what his words meant. And he also blushed.

“I know you, you are a singer, right? I once saw you on TV and I thought you were… on ‘our side,’ you know. But don’t get me wrong. I just think you are so beautiful and maybe… gay-friendly. I apologize for what I've said,” the bartender continued.

“Ah, no, don't worry. I mean, I don’t mind…” Wooseok hurriedly explained to him. He didn’t want to make the bartender feel bad for being nice to him, after all. But then as he calmed down and thought about his "romantic history," it was… hard to explain. He never really liked a girl, or a boy, in a romantic way, not to mention in a sexual way. He even wondered if he was “asexual” before, but he didn’t want to come to a conclusion too quickly. Moreover, since he’s an active idol, maybe it’s actually better that he can hardly fall for someone. 

“But if you are worried about… your friend, you should go check him up. He doesn’t seem happy tonight,” the bartender added, and then left the spot.

Wooseok nodded slowly and then looked back at the bathroom direction. More feelings of guilt emerged in his heart. _I’m not even that successful, why did I think I had the authority to say that to him? …_ The more he recalled his words to Seungyoun, the more guilty he felt, and finally, he left the chair and ran towards the bathroom, planning to say sorry to him.

Even before he opened the bathroom door, he could hear the sound of splashing water inside. He carefully pushed the door open and unsurprisingly, Seungyoun was standing by the sink and looking down. Wooseok stood against the wall in the back and looked at his old classmate in the mirror. He saw water dripping down Seungyoun’s sharp jawline and the messy wet stains on his shirt. Moreover, he saw Seungyoun’s distressed expression and that swollen and red eyes. He then got attracted by Seungyoun’s wide and bent back, followed by the beautiful back muscles, shoulder bones... and somehow, the whole frame of Seungyoun looked as if it was in agony to him.

Meanwhile, Seungyoun shook his hands in the air and suddenly saw Wooseok from the mirror. He was visibly shocked for a second but then asked into the mirror: “Why are you here?”

“I, I come to use the bathroom, can’t I?” Wooseok said awkwardly, but then he gave up, “No, I actually come to check on you.”

“Are you worried about me? I’m totally fine.”

“Er… I’m sorry.” Wooseok felt quite uneasy. He apologized but it was really random in this context. He stepped toward Seungyoun near the sink counter yet had no courage to look at him directly. He then said, “Please don’t take my words to heart… I didn’t mean to blame you or anything just now…”

Seungyoun was surprised but then quickly turned to look at the “real” Wooseok instead of in the mirror, “Why do you apologize? It’s nothing.”

Wooseok looked at Seungyoun timidly, and thankfully, he found that the taller indeed seemed unbothered. Furthermore, he looked much sober than just now, maybe due to the fact that he just washed his face here.

“But still… I’m sorry, Seungyoun. I’m a really clumsy person and I don’t know how to talk to people… I mean, I’m not good at communicating with people… I didn’t mean to make you angry or sad, I was just… I’m sorry.”

Seungyoun stared at Wooseok, waiting for him to finish his words. But in the end, he couldn’t help but being amused by his clumsiness. He lifted up Wooseok’s chin and said, “I wasn’t mad at you, although I have to say that you spitted out straight facts quite ruthlessly for sure.”

Wooseok dared not move. He was too puzzled by the fact that Seungyoun was holding his chin and smiling at him instead of being mad. But he just kept this position and said, “But I thought you cried? I should have been more understandable. You must feel difficult being abroad alone. So it’s normal that you didn’t want to leave Korea tomorrow, right?” He finished his words and then, to get out of this awkward situation, he randomly pulled a piece of tissue out of the box beside him on the counter and said, “Here, wipe your shirt. It’s all wet…”

“Then help me.” Seungyoun suddenly demanded.

What? Wooseok didn’t expect something like this from Seungyoun. But as their eyes met, Wooseok’s heart skipped a beat. His eyes then helplessly wandered down to the loosened buttons on Seungyoun's shirt, and the ambiguous revelation of his chest muscles. Although they are both men, the difference in their body sizes and shapes somehow made Wooseok stop thinking. He blushed uncontrollably as if he was doing something that was forbidden.

“Just help me wipe if you really want to apologize,” Seungyoun’s voice came into his ears again, teasingly.

And Wooseok obeyed.

This is strange. So strange.

The warmth inside the bathroom, the moisture of Seungyoun's hair, and the accidental touches between his own fingers and Seungyoun’s body… all began to make Wooseok, the one who didn't drink at all, tipsy.

Wooseok was moving mechanically, and to be exact, he didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. All he knew was that he had an unfamiliar feeling in mind, itchy, and thrilling. 

“It’s actually my hair… it’s wet and dripping.” Suddenly, Seungyoun’s voice broke Wooseok’s lost thoughts. And the smaller realized that he was actually holding the opened collar of Seungyoun’s shirt. He hastily withdrew his hand and looked up, but at the exact moment, his lips were caught by the taller.

Yes, Seungyoun kissed him on the lips, without any warning. And the next thing Wooseok knew, Seungyoun pushed him back against the wall and devoured him fuller and deeper.

Seungyoun was out of control. At first, he asked Wooseok to wipe the water on his shirt just for fun. But then he realized that he was digging a hole for himself because as he watched Wooseok obeying him and starting to touch him, his whole body became unsettled. He took a glimpse of them in the mirror and was amazed by how matchy they were: the height, the body sizes, and the fact that it would be perfect for him to just kiss the shorter right here, right now. It felt like it was the only chance, and the best chance.

So he did.

And the moment he felt Wooseok's plumpy lips, he decided to go further.

Wooseok protested in the beginning by making some sounds but that didn’t last long. Actually, he later closed his eyes.

It was Seungyoun’s first time to kiss a man but honestly, it didn’t feel like he’s doing it with a man. It felt so natural and comfortable, and he couldn’t help but began to tilt his head more and find better angles to explore the inside of this cute little mouth. At one point, he felt that Wooseok surrendered by opening himself more, letting his tongue inside to taste him further.

And it was Wooseok’s first time, too.

He had kissed women before, but all for filming purposes. For him, kissing was just a job, no feeling involved. However, for the first time, he actually realized that a kiss could be this comfortable and… arousing. But, how come it was actually a man who was doing this to him?

Actually, when he “got caught,” he immediately lost all his senses. He was frozen like a scarecrow and had no idea what was happening. And then, he was against the wall. The feeling on his lips felt like… gummy bear? Except that it had the smell of soju. He didn’t know what to do anymore so he closed his eyes, letting the rest to be done by the person who pretty much locked him up in the corner of this space. After a while, he suddenly felt that he didn’t know how to breathe. So he started to push Seungyoun’s chest. After a few pushes, the kiss stopped, but then it still felt weird. Until the other person’s lips pressed on his again, he felt relieved and comforted. _Ah… what the heck are we doing right now?_ Wooseok asked himself, but then he dared not to open his eyes because he knew it would be more awkward and wrong…

Eventually, Seungyoun left Wooseok’s lips. He gazed at the shorter carefully until he slowly opened his eyes. But then, unsurprisingly, the cutie looked away like a frightened cat.

“You don’t like it?” Seungyoun asked with a much deeper voice.

Wooseok shook his head.

“What does that mean? So you don’t like kisses? I thought you did well.”

Wooseok wasn’t sure if Seungyoun was making fun of him and he blushed fervently.

“Well, that was my first time kissing a guy…” Seungyoun stopped teasing and sounded more apologetic this time, “Maybe I’m really drunk. I don’t even know anymore. Just ignore what just happened, ok?” He said to Wooseok. Since he didn’t know if Wooseok would suddenly be mad and jump at him, he thought it would be safe to apologize first.

However, Wooseok kept looking away. How could he tell Seungyoun that he actually enjoyed what just happened between them? What was that feeling anyway???

“I didn’t…” Wooseok tried to say something but the moment he looked back at Seungyoun, his legs felt weak. Seungyoun quickly grabbed Wooseok’s narrow waist to prevent the shorter from falling, but what followed, was another round of soft and soothing kisses.

Nothing needed to be said anymore. It was no longer a good time to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

Wooseok believed it was the first time for him to experience a kiss this crazy and indulging, and honestly, he didn’t want it to end. Strange. _Why do I feel that I like it? Why does it feel kinda comfortable? What if someone enters the bathroom now?_ He wondered, but then another voice in mind told him, _just five more seconds, five more…_

It was Seungyoun who eventually broke the kiss. And it took Wooseok a long time to come back to reality. He saw himself was still being circled by Seungyoun’s arms, against the wall.

“I can’t.” Seungyoun gasped.

 _What?_ Wooseok was nervous.

“I’m hard,” Seungyoun said.

Wooseok was confused for a second and then immediately realized what Seungyoun meant. He blushed fervently and looked down… Shit, it was perhaps also the first time that a guy was hard for him…

What should he be thinking now? Disgusted? Embarrassed? Angry? Pretend that he didn’t see it?

But then Wooseok desperately found out that he was actually not too bothered by it...

“I guess I’m really drunk. Sorry, I need a minute,” Seungyoun said and went into a stall. He looked at his hardened shaft and started to stroke it. At the same time, he still couldn’t let go of the scenes when Wooseok was holding his collar and touching his skin just now. And of course, he couldn't let go of the feeling of Wooseok's plump lips which were still warm and fresh on his own.

Was it really because of alcohol? After Seungyoun finished jerking himself off, he wondered to himself. No, he did that on purpose, he wanted to kiss him just now for sure. But why? And why was Wooseok not running away? Is he gay? Experienced? Seungyoun was so confused by everything just happened between them. In the end, when he opened the door of the stall heavily, he saw Wooseok was still outside, looking at him frightened like a little bunny.

_Damn. He’s so cute! Even when he's scared he still looks so cute!_ Seungyoun was pretty sure he couldn't think straight anymore tonight. 

And for Wooseok, he was still there because he was still in a state of bewilderment and confusion. They kissed, and it was a super hot and pampering kiss. What's more, he liked it. And he even wanted more. In fact, when Seungyoun left him and went into the stall, Wooseok was looking into the mirror and touching his lips. For some reason, he thought he looked more beautiful after that kiss, and his face was glowing like never before.

“Why you still here?” Seungyoun came to the sink counter as if nothing just happened.

“I, I—” Wooseok then also realized the awkwardness of his presence. But what should he do?

“Sorry, my apologies. Just forget about everything, ok? I’m not interested in guys.” Seungyoun continued while washing his hands.

“I don’t like either.”

“Huh?” Seungyoun turned off the water and asked.

“I said, I don’t like men either,” Wooseok repeated.

“Oh, ok. Then let’s just flip this page and pretend nothing happened.”

“Em… ok.” Wooseok replied dully. It was good to know that neither of them was gay, but this conversation didn't sound right for Wooseok. Actually, he felt a bit hurt.

“Let’s go home then,” Seungyoun said.

“Ok.” Wooseok nodded obediently and the two of them walked out of the bathroom together. Indeed, now both of them desperately wanted to end this night. For Wooseok, he just wanted to go home and hug his puppy. And for Seungyoun, he felt the night had been too wrong, and he wanted to hide.

Wooseok sat at the bar and took out his phone, trying to call a taxi on the app. However, Seungyoun suddenly grabbed his wrist, “I’ll pay.”

“You don’t have to… and are you going home too?”

“It’s fine. I live with the members tonight. It's near here. We have to go to the airport tomorrow morning.”

“But seriously, you don’t have to pay for my taxi.”

“Take it as my apology. I asked you to come here but we didn’t even drink anything.” Seungyoun said while quickly typed Wooseok’s address on his app and ordered a cab. He still remembered that address from a few days ago.

Wooseok didn’t know how to react anymore. He knew Seungyoun’s “apology” was not just about the lack of drinking, but also what happened just now in the restroom. But… well, it’s too embarrassing to think anymore, so he just said, “Ok, thanks.”

A few minutes later, Wooseok was sitting in a cab. He knew Seungyoun was still outside watching him but he didn’t dare to look back again. He sloppily fastened the seatbelt and told the driver about his address again. However, as the car was about to move, Seungyoun suddenly knocked on the window and said, “Be careful. Send me a text when you arrive home.”

Wooseok was shocked but then answered instinctively, “Ok. Good night.”

Seungyoun stood still to saw the cab go. But as soon as it disappeared at the end of the road, he squatted down and scratched his head furiously.

_It was too hard to lie, too embarrassed to talk to him. Thank god the night is done._

He then started walking toward his hotel, but the feeling of Wooseok’s fingers and lips could never really disappear from his head. How would Wooseok see him now? A creep? A harasser? A madman? He wondered. Would Wooseok ever talk to him again? He really wished that Wooseok would not hate him...

Frankly, even Seungyoun himself was surprised about how much he cared about his image in Wooseok’s eyes. He had many friends, too many that he shouldn’t be worrying about how this one single person sees him. Not to mention that he had done numerous stupid and embarrassing things in bars and clubs. However, Wooseok was different. He made Seungyoun feel different. And now, all Seungyoun knew was that he didn’t want Wooseok to vanish from his life yet.

Meanwhile, Wooseok was in the cab with his side of the window wide open, as he was trying to wake himself up from the craziness. To be honest, he was angry by what Seungyoun said to him after he kissed him and even got hard on him. How could he say “I’m not interested in men” and “just forget about it”, after everything he had done? 

However, after a while, he began to reflect on himself. He wondered if he was actually afraid that what happened just now would mean the end of their connection. Will he lose an “old classmate” before they could even become “real friends”? And maybe, he was also afraid to face himself, who actually enjoyed that kiss and even secretly wanted more?

When Wooseok arrived home, he cleaned his face and even washed his mouth so many times to get those feelings away. And then he prepared a nice bath, hoping that his body and mind could both calm down.

When he finished, it was already after midnight. He fell in the sofa and looked at his phone. And suddenly, he remembered that he hadn’t texted Seungyoun yet. However, why would he? Wooseok shook his head and turned his phone off. 

_Ahhhhh!!!! He’s leaving tomorrow and maybe tonight would be the last time we see each other?_ _If so, I should just forget about him and live my normal life!!!_ Wooseok hated himself for being so indecisive and dramatic. He finally decided to call it a night without contacting him.

Wooseok woke up the next day around noon since he didn't have schedule in the morning. He turned on his phone and then saw a message notification on the screen. It was from Seungyoun.

“Wooseok-ah, I’m about to leave Seoul soon. Can we meet each other again next time? Are we still friends? –Cho Seungyoun.”

Wooseok immediately sat up in bed and scrubbed his eyes to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. He then saw that the message was sent at 7:30 am.

And without even hesitating, he texted back, “Sure. We are still friends. See you next time.”

_Damn it. What the hell am I doing?_ Wooseok threw his phone away and hid under the comforter. _Why do I feel happy to see this message? Why am I so relieved that he still wants to be my friend?_

But Wooseok was truly happy that yesterday was not their farewell.

“It’s nice to see your message first thing after getting off the plane.” Suddenly, Seungyoun’s reply came through. And he even added a smiley face.

Wooseok’s heart started to beat fervently again.

***

A month and half later, Seungyoun came back.

Actually, after the last time, their relationship became normal, like “old classmates” again. Apparently, both of them were good at pretending nothing happened in the bar. And then, they just talk to each other through texts or chatting apps every now and then. Most of their texts were nonsense or unimportant things, but strangely they both tried to keep their connection going. For example, one day Seungyoun sent a picture to Wooseok, which was a monkey mask. Wooseok replied with some question marks and Seungyoun said, “They all said that I look like him! I’m mad!” And then Wooseok said, “Oh, it looks quite like you indeed.”

Slowly, Wooseok found that Seungyoun was a very detail-oriented person, or at least he's observant of beautiful things around him. He would sometimes send photos of flowers and trees, and other times a colorful butterfly, or a nice arrangement of artifacts at a workplace. Meanwhile, Wooseok would send him photos of Korean food, and of course would soon receive a crying face, complaining that he was so cruel to make him homesick. Moreover, Wooseok started to notice that even though Seungyoun seemed quite outgoing, he also spent a lot of time alone in the dorm. Like he said, he didn’t really have many friends in China and he sometimes would reject the invitation from his teammates to hang out. Every time when Wooseok found something new about Seungyoun, he felt his heart got closer to him, and he would also wonder if they could have become more intimate friends if Seungyoun didn’t leave Dong-A University that early… But, maybe it’s still not too late to befriend him again?

And then, one day, Wooseok got a selfie from Seungyoun. This time, the background seemed quite familiar.

“Incheon Airport?” Wooseok asked.

“Yea, I’m back to do something.” Seungyoun answered quickly, and before Wooseok reply, he said, “Can we meet tonight?”

Wooseok was surprised. _He’s back literally right now and he wants to see me already?_ But of course, this also made him very happy. So he asked his manager about the schedule for the night and luckily, he would be free.

“What do you want to eat? My treat.” Wooseok replied excitedly.

“Anything is fine. Just Korean food please.” Seungyoun said.

Wooseok then booked a private room in a famous BBQ place. Actually, it was himself who was craving for some meats, but he believed that no one would turn down Korean BBQ.

After work, Wooseok's manager sent him to the restaurant and left. Wooseok was so excited already even though he arrived early and had to sit in the big room by himself. He had been working really hard for the past month and this unexpected dinner date with his “old classmate” felt like a good prize. As he got bored and started to play with the selfie apps, he suddenly realized that he still had a very obvious makeup on from the ad-shooting job just now. Basically, he had this dark concept all over himself: dark eye shadows, black choker, black outfit. He looked more like he's ready for a stage instead of for a dinner.

Before long, the door opened. Next, a familiar guy bent his back and entered the room as if he was so tall that he would hit the door frame.

One and a half months from last time they met, Seungyoun’s hair had grown longer and he also dyed it orange. Wooseok stared at him for a long time. And Seungyoun also stared back at him for an equal amount of time… Weird.

In fact, Seungyoun was like that because he was super impressed. He was expecting to see that soft and tiny Wooseok from last time, but in front of him, it was this dark and sharp one, black hair, black eyes, black outfits, and so on. Wooseok suddenly seemed so cool and attractive at the same time, and Seungyoun thought that this dark concept made him extra pretty and sexy…

While hoping he didn’t look creepy on his face, Seungyoun finally waved and said hi to Wooseok, and then he still added, “Wow, you look so pretty today.”

Wooseok seemed shocked by this… compliments? Like why was this his first sentence to him? But as he quickly searched for words to reply in his head, he ended up saying, “Are you having a comeback soon? You dyed your hair.”

 _Kill me now. This is worse._ Wooseok thought. 

But thankfully Seungyoun seemed fine by this random greeting. He sat down on the other side of the table and answered, “Nope, just want to change my mood.” He then teasingly looked straight into Wooseok eyes, and just as he thought, Wooseok began to blush; and somehow, the pink glow made him more beautiful with his all-black attire.

 _So cute. So damn cute._ Seungyoun thought.

“What do you want to eat? My treat today.” Wooseok coughed awkwardly and pushed the menu to Seungyoun’s side.

“Whatever you order, I’ll eat.” Seungyoun didn’t even open the huge menu book.

“Didn’t you always say you miss Korean food? Now it’s your chance.” Wooseok said, “I eat all kinds of meats.”

“But you seem to have lost some weight. Have you eaten well recently?” Seungyoun pointed out.

“You can tell that I lost weight?” Wooseok was flustered.

“Yeah sure. You were more fluffy last time I saw you.” Seungyoun smiled.

This suddenly made Wooseok’s heart skip a bit, but then he quickly told himself that it was just because he had no friends so whenever someone noticed his change, he would be excited and happy… and that's all.

In the end, Wooseok ordered tons of food, to the point that the waiter didn’t think they could finish them. And as the heat was turned on, Wooseok immediately took the utensils and started doing all the cooking and grilling. As the host, he thought it was his job to do it. Meanwhile, Seungyoun sat there and observed this beauty doing all the cooking across the rising smokes. His gaze was so intense as if he’s appreciating a world-class painting. But since Wooseok was so focused on the food, he didn’t notice it at all.

“Wooseok-ah, I thought you don’t always eat this oily food, but it seems that you are good at grilling.” Seungyoun suddenly said.

Wooseok’s hand stopped in the middle of the air and looked at Seungyoun innocently, then he explained, “I, I don’t normally eat this. It’s just… I like to serve people.”

“Haha, nothing. I just want to say that it’s so nice to have you here because I’m so bad at grilling meat… Thank you Wooseok. And you should take a rest and eat too.”

“But you are the guest today!” Wooseok answered determinately, “I want you to eat well.” And then, he grabbed a scissor to cut another strip of beef into small pieces and put them into Seungyoun’s plate.

“I’m full. Please, your time to eat.” Seungyoun carefully put the meats back to Wooseok’s plate.

“Ok, ok.” Wooseok knew there was probably no need for them to be this polite anymore so he sat down and delivered the meat into his own mouth, “Woah, it’s perfect!” He looked so happy and satisfied.

Seungyoun looked at him and enjoyed his every reaction. For some reason, he also felt a sense of envy, not in a bad way, but more like he's envious of him for being so real to his feelings. He blushes when being complimented, pouts when feeling angry. And just look at his doe eyes, they probably never lie, as they always shine brightly and purely.

“Ah, I forgot to ask. How long are you gonna stay in Seoul this time? Are you living with your mom or with your members?” Wooseok happily chewed on the food and then asked him.

But Seungyoun seemed quite unprepared for the question. He thought for a while and said, “Actually I came back alone this time… and… I didn’t tell my mom.”

“Why?”

“Well, I have several days off… and… there are some things that I need to think, so I decided to come back.” Seungyoun answered vaguely.

Wooseok tilted his head with a confused look on his reddened face. He could tell that Seungyoun had something in mind, but it was probably something that was not suitable to ask further at this moment. However, out of nowhere, he suddenly proposed, “how about you staying at my place tonight?”

Now Seungyoun was even more surprised. He looked at Wooseok, requesting for more clarification. And then Wooseok nodded, “Yes, I live alone so if you don’t have a place to stay, you can come.”

“Isn’t it inconvenient for you?”

“Not at all. I feel so bored at home. And… I have a feeling that you can’t go to your mom’s place today, right? It would be a waste of money to find a hotel, so why not come to my place?” Wooseok was so sincere and excited at the same time. He really liked his own idea because he seldom had "friends" come and stay over, and this would be a good chance to be closer to Seungyoun and truly befriend him. However, as he realized that he was the only one who seemed excited, he “blepped” and smiled shyly.

However, Seungyoun soon "lamented": “Whyyyy are you so cute? You look like a kitten!”

“Me? Kitten?” Wooseok widened his eyes.

“Yea, you look so happy suddenly and it’s so cute. You know, I think you look much happier than last time I saw you. Anything good happened?”

Wooseok knew that he must be blushing crazily now. How can Seungyoun praise someone this easily and directly? It’s so embarrassing!!! And what the heck is “kitten”? Well, he knew fans like to say that he looked like a cat, but a kitten? This sounds so weird to describe an adult male… But at the same time, his heart was blossoming! He was ecstatic that Seungyoun seemed interested in him, maybe even like him.

“And you look pretty when you smile like this.” And Seungyoun wouldn’t stop.

“Ok, enough! Are you praising everyone like this? This is too much.” Wooseok tried to end this. Seungyoun shook his head and said, “Nope, I only praise people who are truly pretty in my eyes, and I haven’t met many. Haha.”

Wooseok probably froze for a second. For one thing, this was, maybe, the first time that Seungyoun genuinely laughed since the start of the dinner. For another, even though Wooseok's always been praised by others for his beauty on a daily basis, he didn’t know why Seungyoun’s words almost made his heart combust. He even thought it was a good thing that he forgot to remove his makeup tonight…

And Seungyoun kept staring at Wooseok until the shorter looked away to avoid such intense gaze. But then Seungyoun teased him again, “Although I don’t know if you like to hear this or not, I think you are prettier than most female idols.”

“I’ll sue you for sexual harassment,” Wooseok yelled but then quickly changed his tone, “No, I don’t mind. I won’t get mad at you.”

“Then are you happy?”

“Honestly? A little. Maybe because I like the word ‘pretty.” I like the sound of it, it’s cute.”

It was the first time for Seungyoun to hear someone saying that he liked a word for its sound. But strangely it made so much sense. He then realized that he’s been smiling for a while now, and his face even started to hurt a little bit.

 _I must look like a fool,_ he thought.

“How about you? Are you happy now?” Wooseok asked in return.

Seungyoun seemed to be startled by this question. He stopped smiling and abruptly realized that Wooseok had been trying to make him happy throughout the dinner. 

Seungyoun was moved, and he couldn’t help but moved his sight to Wooseok’s lips. Ah, they looked even more attractive than last time. Maybe because he ate some spicy food, his lips looked rosy and rounded, very kissable... Not just that, his dark pupils, long and elegant neck with that damn choker on, his watery eyes with that cute gaze which always seems nervous but also full of curiosity, are all so appealing to Seungyoun.

Seungyoun had a feeling, and this feeling was more detailed than the last time they met: he didn't want Wooseok to disappear in his life, and maybe, he wanted even more…


	6. Chapter 6

“I forgot to tell you that I have a dog at home. He just came. You ok with pets?” Wooseok told Seungyoun outside the apartment building.

“I love dogs!” Seungyoun answered delightedly.

Wooseok felt relieved. And as they arrived at the door, ddadda was already barking inside.

“He’s a good boy, he won’t bite you or bully you.” Wooseok somehow explained to Seungyoun apologetically. He then opened the door and the next thing, a tiny Pomeranian ran out excitedly. However, as he saw a second set of feet beside his dad’s, he immediately got scared and hid in between Wooseok’s shoes.

Seungyoun burst out laughing, “How can he ‘bully’ me. Hahaha. He’s so cute and tiny!”

Wooseok smiled shyly. But he was also surprised how shy his “son” was. He seldom had guests here, and he would only take ddadda out for a walk early in the morning or late at night when the streets are quite empty, so he didn’t know that ddadda would be so scared of strangers. He held his son up and said, “ddadda-ah, this is dad’s friend Seungyounie. He’s a nice person so be friendly, ok? Come on, call him _hyung._ ” 

Seungyoun couldn’t stop laughing because Wooseok was apparently a spoilly dad to his dog. Of course, ddadda couldn’t "say" _hyung,_ but at least he could now stare at Seungyoun without a frightened look. Meanwhile, Wooseok kept kissing ddadda and asking him about the day, surely a good dad.

Wooseok’s home was messier than Seungyoun expected. Because he kept a dog, there were many toys on the floor and one needs to watch for every step. Seungyoun was thinking that Wooseok looked like he would have some OCD when it comes to the tidiness of his room, but now the surprising scene actually made Seungyoun more interested in him. It was like “a perfect beauty angel also has his human side” kind of feeling.

Wooseok asked Seungyoun to sit on the sofa while he went back to get some toiletries for him. Ddadda followed him everywhere which was super cute in Seungyoun’s eyes.

“You keep these at home?” Seungyoun wondered when he received all the toiletries, which were all new and of quite nice brands. It felt like he would always have guests here.

“I just moved in here. Last week my parents were supposed to come so I bought these for them, but in the end they didn’t come due to some work. So you are the first guest here.” Wooseok sat on the carpet and started to pat ddadda.

Seungyoun realized that he actually felt relieved by this answer. At the same time, he also felt a weird "responsibility" to protect Wooseok because this “kid” looked so innocent and pure so he better not let some weird guys coming into his apartment. Seungyoun was confused, the more he spent time with Wooseok, the more unsure he felt about his feeling for him. Sometimes he felt like a dad, but other times, like just now when they were waiting for a cab outside the restaurant, he wanted to kiss him again. Wooseok is just a perfect doll that he wants to hug him and nibble his cheeks… _Wait, am I the “weird guy” here?_

It was late, so they took turns to take a shower and then converged in the living room again.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa then,” Seungyoun said casually, as it should be the case in his eyes.

But Wooseok looked at him in confusion: “What? Let’s sleep together in my bedroom. My bed is super big. And you have such long legs, it will be uncomfortable to sleep on the sofa.”

Seungyoun wasn’t expecting this. He has no memory of sharing a bed with a man (maybe only with his dad when he was young). However, shouldn't it be normal if they are just friends? He quickly thought about how to answer, but then, Wooseok spoke again, “Come on, my bed is huge, and I think we can’t even reach each other in bed. The bed is my most expensive piece of furniture.” To Seungyoun, it was clear that Wooseok didn’t think about anything other than “sleep,” but being a “weird guy” that he already was, he had all kinds of feelings right now.

After a while, Seungyoun was already lying on that big bed while Wooseok was playing with ddadda on the floor for the last time of the night. 

“I try to teach ddadda to sleep by himself now. He used to sleep with me in bed. Ah, poor ddadda, he must be sleepy waiting for me to come home every night,” Wooseok smiled at ddadda while his words were toward Seungyoun.

In fact, Seungyoun had been feeling disoriented since Wooseok proposed they sleep in bed together. As Wooseok was still patting ddadda, Seungyoun finally gathered courage and asked him: “You really don’t mind we sleep together after what I did to you last time in the bar?”

Yes, the question was so random and sudden.

And then there were a few seconds of awkward silence.

Next, Wooseok looked back at Seungyoun.

With a burning face.

_Ah, I was so dumb to mention that,_ Seungyoun immediately realized what a fool he was, _but he's so cute when he blushes…_ he thought to himself.

Unsurprisingly, the panicked Wooseok turned around and showed his back to Seungyoun, then hugging ddadda again for help. 

How could he forget? They kissed like there was no tomorrow that night in that restroom with red and white tiles. It was the first time that he felt someone needed him that much; and this “someone” also made him forget about himself, about genders, relationships, and even made him wonder if it could be “love.” But also that night, he told himself that Seungyoun was drunk and he should keep it a secret just like Seungyoun suggested. Even tonight, when he invited Seungyoun to come to his apartment, he didn’t think of that incident at first, it was just an innocent, friendly, and spontaneous idea.

But as Seungyoun now mentioned it, Wooseok realized that his "friendly" invitation might not be “innocent” in the first place. After all, throughout the past month, they’d been contacting each other almost every day; they sent photos to each other, and they shared feelings and information whenever they had a tiny little free time during work. Everything Seungyoun sent him could make his heart flutter, how could he “forget”? He just chose not to acknowledge it.

“Then… I'll sleep on the sofa.” Wooseok said anxiously.

“What? No!” Seungyoun widened his eyes, “I’m not gonna do anything to you!” He became worried and tried to pull Wooseok’s arm to get him up from the floor. However, since Wooseok was so thin and light, lighter than he thought, he ended up pulling Wooseok into his robust chest.

 _Now this is bad._ A second ago Seungyoun just said he wouldn’t do anything to Wooseok… but now, they are like this.

They both froze by this sudden move, even ddadda was shocked for a while seeing his dad suddenly got up and “hugging” the guest.

And for Wooseok, besides having a heart attack, he was trying hard to think whether he should leave first or waiting for Seungyoun’s order. If he pulled away now, he would probably see Seungyoun’s face immediately and that might make them more embarrassed?

These few seconds felt like forever. Finally, it was Seungyoun who uttered apologetically, “S, Sorry, Wooseok.” And then he tried to push Wooseok, but to his surprise, Wooseok refused to go.

Wooseok actually had one leg on Seungyoun’s lap and another on the bed. It was not the most comfortable position but he suddenly held Seungyoun’s neck tighter.

“Just… a little bit more… I, I don’t want you to see my face right now.” The shorter said with a crying sound, almost like begging.

Seungyoun could feel the heat on Wooseok’s cheeks. He found it cute that Wooseok could get shy so easily. _But what are we right now?_ _Can we go further from here?_ Seungyoun asked himself but didn’t dare to move. He knew Wooseok’s small body was shaking because he was probably nervous. But he also knew that Wooseok liked him, or at least didn’t detest him so that they could keep this unexpected hug for another while. Seungyoun then only patted him on the back and said, “It’s ok. It’s ok.”

Another minute might have passed, and Wooseok finally whispered, “Ok, I’m fine now.” He then pushed Seungyoun away slowly but then quickly stayed away and complained, “I almost forgot about that night, why did you mention it again?”

Seungyoun could see that Wooseok still didn’t want to look at him, but the more the smaller escaped, the more he liked him this way, so he said honestly, “Sorry, but how can I forget? I was such a fool that night. Well, I didn’t want to think about it but when I saw you, it just came back to me. Do I make you embarrassed? Should I go back to the sofa?” Seungyoun asked.

“No, don’t.” Wooseok quickly stopped him; moreover, he sat at the corner of the bed and murmured, “Actually… I didn’t hate it.”

“Wait what?” Seungyoun wasn't sure about what he was hearing.

“I mean, that time, I didn’t really hate what you did…”

“What do you mean? So you liked it? You liked it when I kissed you or something else?” Seungyoun put on a judgmental expression on his face, but more in a teasing way. In fact, he was happy to hear it. After all, even tonight, he had been wanting to kiss him, or maybe just cuddle with him, like a brother or a friend. Anyway, he wanted to touch him and feel him. 

Wooseok nodded, and then he cautiously asked, “Do you think I’m a creep?”

Seungyoun shook his head and smiled. He then leaned toward Wooseok and gave him a kiss on the lips. It was a very brief, tiny kiss, probably more like a “peck” that shouldn’t mean much. But Seungyoun thought this was more effective to make Wooseok know that he would never see him as a “creep.”

But then, he saw Wooseok’s thin and pale skin started to glow up again and he couldn’t help but asked, “Do you like it? I can give you one more.”

However, this time Wooseok suddenly looked straight into Seungyoun's eyes and there were clearly some tears in them. Furthermore, he looked so wronged and worried, almost at the edge of crying. 

“What? You didn’t like it?” Seungyoun talked to him literally like he was talking to a doll.

“You… you are making me addicted…” Wooseok cried out. He didn’t mean to cry like this but the tears just fell down. He thought he must be crazy, something's wrong with his head. He’d been enduring and hiding that embarrassing night, as well as his affection for Seungyoun, for the past month; but now, everything collapsed with a kiss. He couldn’t even lie anymore. He missed Seungyoun, his kiss, and his touch from that night. Yet at the same time, he felt so lost and scared because he didn’t know what exactly this feeling was… _It can’t be love. It can’t be_.

Seungyoun was puzzled. Wooseok was looking at him and crying, but his expression was definitely saying “I want more of you.” Seungyoun stared at Wooseok’s plump lips, which was soon bitten by himself, and sighed about how innocent and pure this “old classmate” really was again. Even though he had already debuted for several years, he still looked like a newcomer, a kid. Also, this little kitten always looked so confused but was pretty straight with what he wanted.

And this trait of Wooseok was a great temptation for Seungyoun. He used his thumbs to touch Wooseok’s lips, letting him slowly relax and no longer biting on them. Next, he approached closer, closer, and then started to kiss this kitten. Wooseok was sobbing at first, but then he calmed down as Seungyoun began to nibble his lower lip, making him feel less intense but more like being caressed. As Wooseok could cooperate better with the move of Seungyoun’s tongue, he slowly grabbed Seungyoun’s shirt and fully closed his eyes to enjoy the following sucking and eating.

“You like it now?” When Seungyoun stopped, he asked Wooseok again, this time mischievously.

“Y, yes…” Wooseok stared at the bedsheet and answered quietly. No, he could no longer lie. He liked it a lot, and he wanted more.

“Wait, do you always ‘seduce’ men like this?” Seungyoun suddenly asked. However, this question actually triggered himself as he began to imagine how Wooseok would make other men kiss him by looking the same—vulnerable yet inviting. So he got himself angry and ended up pushing Wooseok down on the sheet. This time, he kissed him deeper and heavier. He carefully felt the roundness of the beauty’s lips and heard the little moans coming from him every now and then. It was so good, so satisfying.

“Ngh… Ah…” Wooseok seemed as if he wanted to answer, but he couldn’t really say anything as his lips were dominated by Seungyoun. He also didn’t even know when did Seungyoun get on top of him. All he knew was that there were sensual moisture, groans, and probably other chemicals in between them. It felt dangerous and intoxicating.

When Seungyoun released Wooseok again, the shorter desperately breathed to catch up with some air. He then gazed at Seungyoun through his blurred eyesight and wailed (answered), “No… I, I don’t like men. I never fell for men…”

“Ok, babe. I don’t like men either.” Seungyoun replied with a naughty smile and then conquered Wooseok’s lips for the third time.


	7. Chapter 7

Seungyoun looked at Wooseok, the pretty kitten's shaky eyes seemed to convey his astonishment and doubt after that hot and wet kiss from just now. But then the kitten quickly looked away, not allowing Seungyoun to adore his perfect glow.

“You can’t hide anymore,” Seungyoun tickled Wooseok’s chin and smiled fondly.

“What... what were you doing…” Wooseok whined as his tiny protests.

“You said you liked it so I did it again.” Seungyoun couldn’t stop smiling and rubbing Wooseok’s chin. He wanted to tilt his head back and see his face, but Wooseok was deliberately against him and wouldn’t cooperate.

 _So cute. So cute._ Seungyoun wasn’t mad at all.

“What are we?” After a while, Wooseok finally turned back. After all, they’ve been kissing with feelings for at least two times, and this time, both of them were very sober and knew what they were doing. However, they were not dating, yet. Wooseok was confused since he never had a relationship before, he wondered if this could be counted as “lovers” but also afraid that Seungyoun might only be “playing” with him.

“Well… I guess... it’s fun?” Seungyoun caressed Wooseok’s hair when answering, “your lips looked… delicious.”

Wooseok felt he was being slapped on the face although he had thought about the worst possibility. He used all his strength to push Seungyoun away from his body and the latter fell beside him. But as Wooseok almost decided to sit up and leave the bed, ddadda suddenly jumped to the bed and started to lick his face. As a result, the fluffy cutie separated Wooseok and Seungyoun, preventing the guest from looking at Wooseok again.

It was itchy but Wooseok just let ddadda lick his face until he calmed down a bit. A minute then passed, and he suddenly heard Seungyoun speaking, “Sorry, I brought you trouble, right? I don’t really know what I’ve been thinking, I’m sorry.”

Seungyoun sounded apologetic and sincere. Actually, he immediately felt regret after saying he did it for “fun.” He knew this must have hurt Wooseok, who was a very sensitive person. However, he couldn’t commit anything right now to Wooseok. He was not planning to start a relationship with him, nor was he thinking this feeling was “love.” He was just curious and aroused by Wooseok and wanted to touch him, that’s all.

_But such “curiosity” happened several times already… how would you call it?_ Seungyoun wondered to himself.

Ddadda left the bed and went back to his little “house” on the floor. And then when Seungyoun could finally see Wooseok’s face again, he found that Wooseok had already closed his eyes. He wasn’t really falling asleep since his eyelids were shaking, but the message was more than clear: no more talking.

However, Seungyoun still got something to say: “Wooseok-ah.”

“Hmm?” Wooseok still decided to respond, but not enthusiastically.

While Seungyoun was thinking about what to say next, Wooseok said again, “It’s ok. It was just ‘for fun.’ Don’t do it again. Let’s sleep now.” He then turned off the light. But the moment the room went dark, he started to cry silently.

That night just passed like that. They didn’t talk after that, and ddadda didn’t interrupt either.

When the morning came again and Seungyoun opened his eyes, he saw that Wooseok was already up, leaning on the bed and holding ddadda on his chest. Both of them looked like dolls, really. Both of them were so pretty even in the early morning.

“Morning, Wooseok.” Seungyoun said in a low voice.

His voice pulled the zoomed out Wooseok back to reality, as the younger seemed shocked, but then immediately said, “Oh, hi, morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Very well.” Seungyoun answered and tried to pat ddadda’s head. However, as he saw Wooseok’s vigilant reaction, he retracted his arm and coughed unnaturally.

Wooseok also secretly knew he was being too obvious in terms of avoiding Seungyoun all of a sudden. He didn’t sleep well at all because he was nervous. And he was afraid Seungyoun would accidentally touch him while sleeping. But in the end, nothing happened, and there was even a gap between them.

“Do you have work today?” Seungyoun then changed to another topic.

“Only in the afternoon, how about you? Any plan for today?” Wooseok said.

“Emm… I need to do something about my passport, and then… I’ll probably go to my mom’s place.” Seungyoun actually paused before saying the second half of the sentence. Actually he didn’t want to go home, but after what happened last night, he thought he had to. It was likely that he was no longer welcomed here.

However, Wooseok let out a sigh: “Oh… really?” He had the plan of having a good time with his “old classmate” last night but now everything messed up. He buried his face in ddadda’s body and then thought, it was probably all his own fault. He had expectations and he was shameless to tell Seungyoun that he “didn’t hate to be kissed.” That was why Seungyoun did just that. And yet he took it deeper and thought they might have a chance. Now, it served him right. Seungyoun didn’t seem interested in him at all, he was just “playing.”

“I’ll leave. Thanks for the accommodation last night.” Seungyoun hid his hesitation and said. Then he quickly got off the bed.

Wooseok wasn’t expecting such a sudden goodbye. He watched Seungyoun, who walked out of his bedroom and headed to the bathroom. He then whispered to ddadda, “Do you think your dad is a coward?”

Ddadda just tilted his head and whined.

“What? What are you saying?” Wooseok held his “son” tighter as if he’s the only thing he could hold onto now, “Do you think I like Seungyounie? Or I just love the way he touches me?”

Seungyoun started to pack and saw that ddadda was already out in the living room too. He hugged him and asked, “Ddadda-ah, you are such a good boy… Oh, is it your breakfast time? Emmm... wait, I think you and your dad look quite alike.”

Wooseok could hear this from his bedroom, and the fact that ddadda got closer to Seungyoun after one night actually made him happy. However, should he show it after once again the awkwardness between them? He shook his head and decided to just get up and say goodbye to Seungyoun. So he leaned on the door frame, watching Seungyoun kissing ddadda like he himself always did, and then uttered lightly, “Well… if… if next time you still have nowhere to stay, you are always welcomed here.” This was actually his way of asking him to stay… or at least, be his “friend” still.

Seungyoun looked back at him in surprise. And then he smiled, “It’s ok. I live in Seoul, after all. I won’t bother you again.”

Wooseok’s heart sank. He believed that he must have made Seungyoun feel uncomfortable here. He was too clingy and persisting last night and maybe forced him to do all that to himself... So he nodded and looked at the floor, not sure what to say next.

For Seungyoun though, the way Wooseok now looked all disappointed and pouty was helplessly cute. He was pretty sure that he had never seen some guy this cute and this made him smile again and asked:

“Hey, you’re not hating me, are you?” 

Wooseok slowly looked at him and answered hesitantly, “I wouldn’t invite you again if I hate you.”

But he didn’t let out the other half of his inner voice: I just hate myself—for liking you, falling love with you, perhaps.

_(So both of them were worried being disliked by the other *inserted voice by your evil author.*)_

Wooseok’s job that day was to record a comeback stage. It would signal the start of his new comeback season so it was quite important. After Seungyoun left in the morning, his manager came to pick him up. Even then, Wooseok still felt entangled in all kinds of emotions. His heart was chaotic as he couldn’t let last night’s kiss go away from his head. He could still easily recall Seungyoun’s shiny eyes when he gently left his lips and gazed at him tenderly as if he was that precious. Wooseok thought there was definitely affection, or even love in it, but in the end Seungyoun told him it was just for “play”… So he was the only one who got tricked and even stupidly expressed his fondness of Seungyoun. _Ahhh!!!_ Wooseok screamed internally out of embarrassment. He thought he must have looked like a fool in Seungyoun’s eyes… 

“Are you ok?” The manager discovered Wooseok’s uneasy expression in the car, “You didn’t sleep well? Are you nervous about the comeback?”

“May, Maybe…” Wooseok answered unnaturally.

“You are always like this, but once you are on the stage you look so confident. So I’m not even worried about you now.” The manager said in a proud voice. Indeed, Wooseok is a good performer. Even though he could be nervous inside, he wouldn’t let people find out once the business starts.

Wooseok slapped his face to wake himself up. The car almost arrived at the studio, and he told himself to focus on the job.

Meanwhile, Seungyoun went to renew his passport during the day but then ended up not knowing what to do next. Actually, he lied to Wooseok this morning. He didn’t plan to see his mom this time and tell her that he had been thinking about quitting his current job at the Chinese company and coming back to restart a career in Korea…

Since he has a pretty well-off family, Seungyoun grew up with little pressure. His father is doing business in different countries and can only support him financially; his mother is just very supportive of whatever he wants to do. So when Seungyoun was in elementary school, he said he wanted to be a footballer, his parents sent him to the best football school in Brazil. (No average family could it that at that time). Later, he wanted to be a singer, so his parents let him come back and sent him to the best music school in Korea. And when he kept failing auditions at different entertainment companies, his parents never blamed him and always encouraged him to try again. And not to mention that, only a week after getting into Dong-A University, when he said he wanted to debut in China first, his parents agreed immediately…

However, a spoiled kid will eventually grow up and learn about the rules of society. When Seungyoun turned 20 in a foreign country with little fame and income, he finally sat down and began contemplating his future. Maybe he should finally settle down and focus on something, instead of always changing his mind and enjoying the privilege of his family.

Yet to confess this determination to his parents was still a challenge because that would mean he needed to give up the current job again. Unlike previously, this time he felt very ashamed of himself; he felt like a loser.

Wandering on the street, he thought about living at his friend A or B’s apartment for the night, but his pride didn’t allow him to since he refused their earlier invitation to be a producer, yet now both of them were doing better than him musically. How about going to a hotel? Well, that seemed like the only choice but it was quite pathetic because he literally had a luxurious home with his mom in the city. Seungyoun kept walking on the busy street aimlessly and felt even more like a loser.

Suddenly, a song came out from a shop near him. The voice was so familiar and when Seungyoun looked into the display window, it was indeed Wooseok’s face being shown on the screen.

It was actually Wooseok’s MV teaser. Unlike the soft and pure image that Seungyoun had become familiar with, Wooseok looked very fierce and cool in this teaser and his gaze almost felt like it would pierce through something. Wooseok’s voice in this one was smooth but also has power. In short, it was a confident and intense Wooseok in the teaser, who had little in common with the one who was under Seungyoun's body last night, looking beautiful, vulnerable, and seductive.

Seungyoun was totally drawn by the teaser until several fangirls beside him started to scream at the screen. He hurriedly left the scene, but for the next few minutes, he kept “seeing” Wooseok from last night in his head. His heart was itchy whenever he recalled the softness of his lips and the pretty glow on his skin. And he also desperately realized that he had never had this kind of feeling, or yearning, for a man’s body before.

_However, it shouldn’t be “like” or “love.” It can’t be. How could I love a man?_ Seungyoun warned himself. Although he had no prejudice towards the LGBTQ community, he just never thought he’d be one of them.

_But didn’t I get hard on him once in that bar?_ Seungyoun asked himself and also remembered the eagerness and hungriness when he wanted to kiss Wooseok, not for just once… Those were different from when he was interested in a woman. Seungyoun admitted that he was very fond of Wooseok’s face, but he was also confused about the sexual interest he had for him.

This dangerous thought almost made him having a heart attack on the sidewalk. He stopped and knocked on his head, trying to think “normal” again. But the moment he looked up, he saw a standee of Wooseok right in front of him… because he was standing outside a cosmetic store. Seungyoun almost tripped himself because this standee was the same height as Wooseok and this Wooseok’s visual was no joke! The pinky cheeks, plump lips, the shimmering eyelids, and that deep brown-colored eyes… how could he look this perfect with all these "girly" colors and makeups?

And next, Seungyoun helplessly surrendered to his heart: He can’t just leave yet. He had to own this beauty first before leaving. He missed his shy but seducing face and moans, he wanted him to be his doll, not everyone else’s idol.


	8. Chapter 8

Seungyoun spent the afternoon buying some clothes at his favorite shop. And then he went to a small restaurant that he often went to during high school years. While waiting, he decided to text Wooseok. The message was simple: “How’s work? Fighting!”

As long as he acts normal, they may still keep this friendship. –Seungyoun told himself. He still hadn’t decided where to go but it seemed that going home would be the only choice in the end.

About ten minutes later, Wooseok replied, “I just finished recording. How are you?” Besides, there was a smiley emoji after the sentence.

Seungyoun just swallowed the last bite of his bread and when he saw that emoji, his heart began to beat faster because that meant Wooseok wasn’t mad at him and that he might have a chance to go there again. So he “shamelessly” replied, “I may still need to stay at your place tonight.”

_Whatever._ Seungyoun thought. He’d done enough embarrassing things in front of Wooseok and to Wooseok. Even Wooseok rejected him now, he’d just laugh it off and then went back home, maybe.

And then, his phone suddenly rang. It was Wooseok…

Seungyoun picked up the phone and to his surprise, Wooseok’s voice sounded excited, “Of course you can come. I’ll send you my lock password and you can go there first. I still have some work here so I’ll be home late.”

“Are, are you sure?” Seungyoun was surprised by how happy Wooseok sounded, even though the result was good.

“Sure!” Wooseok answered, “and ddadda will be happy to see you too. So I’ll see you later at home!” Wooseok then hung up the phone as he had to back to work.

Two minutes later, a serial number was sent to Seungyoun.

Seungyoun didn’t know when would Wooseok be home, but since he already wandered around all day long, he called a taxi and arrived at that apartment first. He rubbed his head outside the building and laughed at himself for being so shameless.

Ddadda could sense Seungyoun’s presence and before the guest entered, ddadda was already jumping and barking happily. And when the door finally opened, ddadda “flew” into Seungyoun’s embrace. He really seemed to like this guest.

“Did you want to run out just now? Isn’t it nice to stay in this place?” Seungyoun petted ddadda and joked. He then kissed this fluff ball many times just like Wooseok did. Ddadda was so excited and satisfied. Maybe in his mind, “Seungyounie hyung” would come home every day since yesterday.

In Wooseok’s living room, there is actually a wall of photos that seemed to have captured all the important moments in his career. Seungyoun took a careful look at them, there was little Wooseok when he was signing to be a trainee, the teenage Wooseok who was practicing while still wearing school uniform, and then there was the group debut and many glamorous stages, and finally, his solo debut photos. However, when Seungyoun looked even more closely, he saw a polaroid of a group of people at a restaurant. The faces were hard to see clearly but it was likely to be the goodbye dinner of Wooseok’s previous group. Seungyoun remembered that Wooseok once told him briefly that his former group disbanded “due to some reasons.” At that time, Seungyoun had some suspicions about it but didn’t ask more.

Wooseok started his solo career last fall. But now compared with previous photos, Seungyoun found that Wooseok actually had a very different aura now. And this difference was so sharp that the Wooseok on stage even felt unfamiliar to the one that Seungyoun knew. In the debut photo, Wooseok looked very mature and sexy, like a seductive cat walking in the night. Although small and beautiful, one wouldn’t want to approach him or mess with him. He seemed in control and knew where he was going. However, in the second stage photo, he looked cute and fresh, but then his eyes seemed unfocused and foggy as if he didn’t care about the human world. Seungyoun was amazed. Wooseok was like a chameleon, changing colors according to the environment. With different concepts, his gaze and expressions would shift completely, sometimes making him totally different people. However, what impressed Seungyoun the most was that all these changes happened in the past few months because when looking at other photos with his group or as a trainee, he always looked the same, cute and innocent.

And for some reason, Sengyoun suddenly felt uncertain. Was he also being controlled by Wooseok? Was Wooseok “performing” for him instead of really interested in him? People who are like chameleons are oftentimes lacking security, and can hardly trust others, so did Wooseok really trust him, or wanted something from him? However, Seungyoun quickly told himself that he had nothing to lose even if Wooseok deceived him in any way; after all, Wooseok needed him and wanted his touch, right?

At this time, ddadda ran toward the door. Of course, it was because his “dad” was outside. After a few beeps of the lock, the door opened and the first thing that Wooseok saw, was that Seungyoun was looking at his photos on the wall.

“Er… don’t look at those… it’s embarrassing.” Wooseok ran toward him.

“Not at all. I mean, it’s interesting!” Seungyoun exclaimed, “You looked like a baby when you first debut.” He looked back at those photos again. Indeed, Wooseok was literally a baby when he debuted with the group, and now his has more defined bones and lost a lot of weight too. He then pointed at one particularly cute photo and looked back at Wooseok again, however, this time he found that Wooseok actually looked very pale and tired, or maybe there was also some disappointment, too.

“Are you ok? Must be tired, huh?” Seungyoun asked.

“I’m fine.” Although Wooseok said like this, he definitely looked the opposite.

“Wanna go to sleep first?” Seungyoun became more worried. He had to thank Wooseok for adopting him for another night so that he didn’t have to face his mom, so he was being extra nice and soft, too. Even though he had some “evil” thoughts before, now seeing Wooseok like this, his first reaction was to be worried. He wanted to help, if he could.

“Ok…” Wooseok nodded, giving ddadda back to Seungyoun’s hands, and then left for the bathroom.

When seeing himself in the mirror, Wooseok suddenly realized that he hadn’t been smiling for a while now. He was actually super excited when receiving Seungyoun’s message a few hours ago, but now he’s not in the mood. He didn’t want Seungyoun to misunderstand though, because it had nothing to do with him…

Frustrated, Wooseok decided to take a shower first. But when the water fell down on his body, he couldn’t help but think about the recording of today. Everything went well for his new comeback stage. This time, he went for a fresh look, unlike last time the sexy and seductive one. He actually liked to see himself being more innocent and pure so he was very happy with this comeback. However, what really frustrated him today was actually the program closing. It is a tradition for all the performers to come back to the stage in the end, but it is also Wooseok’s biggest fear every time. Since he was solo and usually unfamiliar with others, he would always stand in the last row, trying to hide himself from the happy crowds of other young artists. This part made him feel more stressed and nervous than performing by himself because it’s just awkward. He didn’t mind being alone but he knew he would look silly in the camera and made his fans worry about him. However, he just couldn’t pretend to be social and randomly join other people, even though they might know them from other places and programs. He couldn’t blame anyone, it was just his personality. He put on a poker face to protect himself, and in the end, he had no friends in the industry.

He could be himself when in front of Seungyoun, but why not with others? —this thought came to his head while he was still taking a shower. But he shook his head and denied himself. Maybe he was just another fool in front of Seungyoun, too…

When he walked out of the shower, he saw that Seungyoun was playing with ddadda on the sofa. Ddadda seemed to be really liking Seungyoun, and Wooseok even felt a little jealous.

“I’m done. You can use the bathroom now.” Wooseok said to Seungyoun from the back of the sofa.

“Are you feeling better now?” Seungyoun stood up and stared into his eyes caringly.

“Ah…” Wooseok almost became breathless after being gazed like this. Seungyoun’s eyes are like blackholes that could easily swallow his heart. He actually thought about explaining to Seungyoun why he looked upset, but now he thought there was no need anymore. Why? Because he didn’t have to. He cared about Seungyoun way too much and that would probably only make him more like a fool… just like last night…

But Seungyoun still seemed worried. His frowned and put his hands on Wooseok’s shoulders as if he was waiting for some answer. Finally, Wooseok sighed, “It was just some stupid little things. No worries. I’m just…”

“Just what?”

“Just hate myself, a little bit…” Wooseok slowly confessed. Yes, he didn’t like himself for being like a coward on stage, and being anti-social and friendless.

However, next, Seungyoun’s hands suddenly moved up and held Wooseok’s head. He then started to use that towel on his hair to rub the shorter’s wet hair, randomly and erratically.

The movement was so sudden that it scared Wooseok at first. But because it was so comfy that he quickly accepted the help, and even closed his eyes to enjoy it. Never was there anyone who did this to him, and it felt strangely familiar, as if it was meant to happen.

When Seungyoun stopped rubbing and drying his hair, both of them stayed silent for a while. Wooseok knew his heart was beating like crazy again, yet this time it made him sick. He hated himself for being this sensitive to Seungyoun’s touch. He hated himself for acting like a fool and falling for him one-sidedly.

“Hey, when you are quiet, are you having all kinds of naughty thoughts in your head?” Seungyoun’s voice suddenly woke him. The question sounded weird, and moreover, Seungyoun’s expression quickly changed from mischievous to being serious. And it gave Wooseok chills.

Without any answer from Wooseok, Seungyoun continued, “It’s really impressive that even though you are an introvert, you dream to be an idol.” He walked a little closer to Wooseok and patted his shoulders, “You acted so candidly when you wanted to be kissed, but you were not always that candid, right? You know, I wonder which is the real you. Who are you?”

Wooseok was shocked. He had no idea why Seungyoun suddenly questioned him like that. And the way Seungyoun smiled while saying those cold words really made his heart ache. He didn’t know if Seungyoun was actually doubting about his personality or purpose of approaching him, but it somehow felt like that.

Meanwhile, Seungyoun walked away as if nothing just happened. As he grabbed a towel and opened the bathroom door, Wooseok suddenly became so worried and was eager to say something--

“I, I’m simple!” He yelled toward his back.

“What?” Seungyoun turned around.

“I… I like you… I really like you… that’s… that’s why I didn’t want you to stop kissing me… I, I didn't lie...”

Seungyoun’s heart skipped a beat. He looked at Wooseok, who seemed so wronged and sad, and then, like a hungry wolf, he dashed back him and bumped his forehead on the latter's. Their noses were rubbing each other and they could feel each other’s breaths. A few seconds later, Seungyoun finally whispered, this time mischievously,

“Really? Then prove it to me tonight.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞🔞🔞🔞

Wooseok was so shocked but before he could even decipher what was happening, Seungyoun suddenly ran to the bathroom again.

_Did I just… confess to him?_ Wooseok collapsed on the sofa with heavy and anxious breaths. Seungyoun was testing him, he knew it. But all he could do was to surrender. He hated if Seungyoun thought he was a “fake” person because being “authentic” had been a creed of his life. Not just in front of Seungyoun, he wanted to be real in front of his fans, too. However, why would Seungyoun doubt him? Why would he ask which was the real him? At that moment Wooseok felt hurt and he was eager to defend himself. But why, why did it become a confession?

_What should I do?_

Wooseok took a few deep breaths and then hugged ddadda to calm himself down. Then, he went into the bedroom and sat on the big bed with an empty face. Seungyoun just asked him to “prove” his love. It was vague, but the sexual tension was also obvious. Wooseok listened to the sound of the shower from outside and all he could think of was Seungyoun’s body… He felt like his whole being was burning because if he really had to “prove,” it would be so wrong, so full of his forbidden desire.

Wooseok quickly shook his head and told himself that he didn’t have to prove anything. He should not just follow whatever Seungyoun asked him to do. _He was just joking. He was just joking._ Wooseok repeated this in mind like a mantra.

However, the next second, Seungyoun was already back from the shower and standing in front of him. Of course, this guy would not wear anything to cover his godly body after shower, but thankfully he had a boxer on…

Wooseok almost gasped instinctively, but then he couldn’t remove his gaze from that body. Especially when water was still dripping and passing his suggestive tattoos.

“What are you looking at?” Seungyoun asked with a knowing smile.

Wooseok’s heart literally stopped, but he cleared his throat and pretended to be normal: “Can’t I see you?”

Seungyoun shrugged, and then crossed his arms and asked, “So have you come up with an idea to prove to me?”

“P, prove what? I’m not doing a math problem.” Wooseok tried to act dumb again but this didn’t work at all because the next thing he knew, Seungyoun already grabbed his arms and pulled him into his robust, sinful, bare chest. His seductive voice then came into Wooseok’s ears: “Don’t try me. Didn’t you just say you like me?”

The feeling was too intense. Wooseok felt as if he was in a romantic drama. Their faces were so close, eyes on each other, and he couldn’t move because Seungyoun held his wrists so tightly and strongly. Indeed, there was no way to run away, no more reason to run away, Wooseok could only open his shaking lips and said, “Can’t I like you?”

“Of course you can, but what’s next?” However, Seungyoun seemed unsatisfied and his smile was getting more and more naughty.

“You, you are ok with that? You don’t feel disgusted?” Wooseok asked insecurely.

“Why would?” Seungyoun asked.

“Because you said you don’t like men,” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun was slightly awakened by this sentence but then he quickly bumped on Wooseok’s forehead again and said, “Hadn’t you said the same thing to me before?”

_Ah, damn it._ Wooseok could no longer think. Instead, he stood on his tiptoes and kissed Seungyoun. And the moment he did it, Seungyoun held his nape and captured his lips harder. His other hand then surrounded Wooseok’s narrow waist, pulling his closer and closer as if trying to insert the small boy’s whole being into his body. For a second, Wooseok thought his waist was going to broke, but then their kiss was so intense and captivating that he could no longer focus on other parts of his body. Seungyoun was tasting him, devouring him. Seungyoun’s tongue was so warm and delicious that it led Wooseok’s to turn and swirl so naturally. It felt too good. Too indulging.

They’d done this a few times already. And finally, something more was bound to happen.

When the kiss ended, Wooseok already found him lying in bed. He didn’t know when did Seungyoun placed him in bed but it must be super gentle and caring of him. Now Seungyoun, his gorgeous body, was just above him. Wooseok swallowed his throat hard.

“I don’t like men, but that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss them.” Seungyoun played with Wooseok’s messy hair and smiled teasingly.

Wooseok didn’t know what this meant, but he could no longer feel himself, and all he did was nodded and stared at Seungyoun like an innocent doll.

And then Seungyoun continued, “But since you said you like me, I began to wonder, what kind of ‘like’ is that.” He was still just touching Wooseok’s hair and the contour of his face. It made Wooseok itchy and somehow, even a bit mad. How could he explain? He couldn’t even think straight now.

“I, I don’t know… I don’t know what I like about you… I don’t know what that ‘like’ was…” Wooseok said everything that popped up in his head.

Seungyoun seemed a little surprised, but then, he put on that evil smile again and got closer to Wooseok, his voice was almost like preaching, “Babe, you don’t like me. You just like to be touched by me.” And then, he began inserting his hand under Wooseok’s shirt, just like that, he started to touch the smaller’s body, little by little, from his belly all the way up, until he reached Wooseok’s chest, and his crazily beating heart.

Wooseok had never been touched like this. It felt so wrong, so erotic, and the unfamiliar fingers kept making him tremble. It was ticklish, scary, but also arousing. He might have moans already, and he closed his eyes tightly and nervously. But at the same time, Seungyoun’s words struck him again, “You don’t like me. you just like to be touched by me…” Was it… for real?

However, before Wooseok could think further, he felt his nipples were being played by Seungyoun’s fingers. Seungyoun pinched them and said, “Babe, you like this, don’t you? You like to feel me, don’t you?” The voice had a repressive power that was forcing Wooseok to give in.

Wooseok still kept his eyes shut. He was scared to know what Seungyoun looked like right now. He even felt like it was not Seungyoun who was over his body, it was a mirror, a mirror that could reflect all his dirty desires back to him. He was trapped. He had nowhere to hide.

Seungyoun had already pulled Wooseok’s sleep shirt up and began observing his pinkish upper body. He looked at Wooseok’s hardened nipples and suddenly realized that he was, indeed, playing with a man’s body. But then he looked at Wooseok’s burning face and long eyelashes. Ah, he looked so damn gorgeous even when he was this scared. Seungyoun didn’t feel wrong at all. Everything was natural, he was sober and he wanted to do a lot more things to this guy, yes, a guy.

So he leaned down and started to suck them.

“Ahhh!” Wooseok screamed when that hot lips touched his sensitive dots and opened his eyes in terror. However, all he could see was the top of Seungyoun’s head. Then, a numbing feeling on his chest electrified him. It actually felt good. Why? Why does it feel so soft and comfy when a man is… sucking him?

Seungyoun could hear little moans from above but he had no time to appreciate because what his mouth and lips were feeling was so sweet and delicious. His hands also caressed Wooseok’s chest and even though it’s flat, he didn’t seem to mind. He wondered why he could enjoy a man’s body this much but apparently, he knew this was just a beginning.

“Seung, Seungyoun…” Suddenly, Wooseok moaned his name as if he was asking for help.

And damn, it immediately made him hard. He began to suck those pair of nipples harder and fiercer.

“Ah, hurts… hurts…” Wooseok hit Seungyoun’s body in protest, and this eventually made the beast stopped, but only for a little while.

“Did I hurt you?” Seungyoun climbed up a little bit and touched Wooseok’s face. It was so beautiful, surreally beautiful.

“You bite me… and it hurts…” Wooseok almost cried.

But all Seungyoun could think was that this little kitten’s lips and eyes and nose… he wanted to have them all… so he asked, “Babe, do you have work tomorrow?”

“Yes…”

“In the morning?”

“Emm.”

“Shit,” Seungyoun cursed and then outlined Wooseok’s nose bridge, chin, and his Adam’s apple, “What a shame, I can’t leave marks here then. Everything about you looks so delicious, you know?”

The word “delicious” somehow made Wooseok’s heart blossom. He realized that Seungyoun was actually adoring him, and maybe, he shouldn’t feel nervous about what was happening.

However, Seungyoun suddenly got off his body and lie beside him.

For a second, Wooseok was disappointed. But this break also gradually calmed him down. Maybe it was just a tease? Seungyoun loved to do that, right?

“How about you?” Yet it didn’t last long before Seungyoun spoke again.

“What?” Wooseok looked at him from the side.

“You don’t want to touch me?” Seungyoun smiled mischievously.

“A… a little…” Wooseok was like a possessed doll and answered with his true heart.

“Then sit on me.” Seungyoun patted his own belly, “Sit on me and do what you want.”

It must be too obvious. Every time when Wooseok gazed at Seungyoun’s body. It was too obvious. His eyes were thirsty, just as his body for him.

So Wooseok followed the command. He slowly spread his legs across Seungyoun and sit on his laps. And the moment he sat still, he saw Seungyoun’s hardened cock just in front of his very eyes. But of course, his own shaft was visibly hard, too. Wooseok was embarrassed and avoided to look at Seungyoun’s face, but then his eyes just naturally laid on Seungyoun’s gun tattoo, which still pointed to his manhood. This made Wooseok blush more fervently and Seungyoun could of course see it. He burst out laughing and then said, “Why are you look surprised? Come on, just do whatever you want.”

Wooseok almost fainted by Seungyoun’s words. Honestly, it was a little annoying the way he was that confident about his own body. However, he was not wrong. Who didn’t want to touch? Touch that gun tattoo, that well-trained, robust six-packs, and of course, the hard and somewhat squishy chest? Wooseok thought he must be intoxicated by something or else he wouldn’t just naturally put his hands on both of Seungyoun’s chest already.

“I see. You are quite honest in bed.” Seungyoun said when Wooseok was tracing that gun tattoo.

But the word “honest” suddenly made Wooseok stop. The smaller pouted and looked into Seungyoun’s eyes, “I’ve been honest throughout my life.”

“Ok, ok,” Seungyoun smiled apologetically yet fondly, and then he seized Wooseok’s wrist and put his one hand on his chest, asking, “You want to touch here, right?”

The feeling of Seungyoun’s chest muscle immediately made Wooseok forget to be mad at him. Wooseok bite his lower lip and nodded like an obedient pet. His body also naturally leaned forward, until his belly suddenly felt Seungyoun’s hard cock again.

Wooseok quickly pulled his hand up and he looked terrified. He didn’t know what to do now because as he suddenly became clearer, he found out that he was already in this very wrong position, and there seemed to be no way back.

Seungyoun looked at his own shaft and then at Wooseok’s petrified face, and guessed what the little one might be thinking or fearing, so he tried to sit up and kissed Wooseok softly on the lips, “It’s ok, baby, don’t be nervous.”

Wooseok looked at Seungyoun when the kiss ended, still in shock. It was the first time that he realized that being too honest was not always a good thing, because his honesty made Seungyoun know everything he wanted, every thought he had…

They were now both hard, and it was because of each other. Wooseok seemed so lost and he could only stare at Seungyoun as if asking for help. And then Seungyoun knew it again. So he said, “Then we just unload it together.”

“Huh?” Wooseok’s shock lingered. As he realized the meaning of Seungyoun’s words, he shook his head, “No way!”

“No? Then what do you wanna do?” This time Seungyoun directly put his hand on Wooseok’s underwear, feeling the smaller’s shaft too.

“I, I’ll go to the bathroom.” Wooseok cried and wanted to get off Seungyoun. But Seungyoun abruptly stabilized his shoulder and pulled him towards his face, stopping the smaller with another deep, long kiss. 

“Nnngh… ahhh…” Wooseok still tried to run away but was soon calmed by the kiss and closed his eyes. Seungyoun slowly finished it and then naughtily kissed Wooseok’s chin, too. And then, he comforted Wooseok softly, “It’s ok, just think of me and do your thing. We’ll do this together, nothing to be ashamed.”

Wooseok thought there must be some magic in Seungyoun’s voice because he immediately felt calm and unafraid. Although he still felt shy, he somehow pulled his shaft out of his underwear. As soon as he did that, Seungyoun started to kiss him again, this time even more passionately, and not just on his lips, but Seungyoun also sucked his earlobes, his Adam’s apple, and deliberately leaving marks on his necks and shoulders…

Wooseok was melting, his hand moved faster and faster due to Seungyoun’s ruthless agitation. He groans and moans and screamed out of pleasure and there was not a single moment he felt shy or embarrassed again. He knew Seungyoun was jerking himself too because his voices sounded more and more uncontrollable by his ear.

“Ahh.. ahh… I can’t… I’m gonna cum…” Wooseok finally yelled in tears.

“Same, babe. Same… Arghhhh….”

And the two almost unloaded together, then fell into each other’s embrace.

Wooseok was immediately hit by strong drowsiness and closed his eyes. He felt the warmness of Seungyoun’s cum on his belly and laps, maybe that was his own? He had no idea. His world was a total mess now and before he fell into slumber, he made sure that he was holding Seungyoun, the man he thought he liked.

“You can sleep now, babe. I’ll take care from here.” Seungyoun murmured. He felt that Wooseok slightly nodded on his shoulder. In fact, Wooseok basically passed out, probably due to the extreme tension and excitement that he had never experienced before.

Later, Seungyoun held Wooseok to the bathroom, cleaned him, and then put the sleeping beauty back to bed. He kissed him again and whispered,

“You don’t like me. You just like to be touched by me.”


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, Wooseok found the “strawberries” all over his shoulders and on his neck, planted by Seungyoun the night before.

“Argh...” Wooseok sighed to himself in the mirror.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened.

“You didn’t lock the door so I just came in. You wouldn’t mind, would you?” It was Seungyoun, who naturally hugged Wooseok from the back and rested his chin on the shorter’s shoulder. He still looked so sleepy but he still came here because Wooseok was not in bed when he opened his eyes.

Wooseok had a cringe but a guilty pleasure won over the embarrassment and shyness. He was happy that Seungyoun was so clingy instead of pretending nothing happened last night. However, he didn’t want to recall the details from last night either.

“Go out, I need to shower.” Wooseok tried to push Seungyoun’s head away, “And why are you getting up so early?”

It was not even 7am yet, Wooseok had to get up because he had work in the morning.

“Nothing… I just want to hug you before you leave.” Like a cunning fox, Seungyoun acted nonchalantly but the words from him were too sweet to handle. Moreover, he squinted his eyes and looked at Wooseok in the mirror, and then cuddled with him a bit more.

Wooseok was almost frozen when Seungyoun did all these sweet things to him. It felt surreal. Wooseok never had a serious relationship before so this kind of cuddle in the morning made him feel so loved. However, he immediately told himself that there shouldn’t be something so smoothly like this. And they… they could still be friends… because… maybe… two male friends can do something like they did last night, too… It was just physiological needs, after all…

Upon thinking about this, Wooseok quickly pushed Seungyoun out of the bathroom, “No!!! Don’t come in!!! Go back to sleep!!!” He whined.

Seungyoun couldn’t stop laughing while being shoved from the bathroom. However, when he was completely out, he suddenly become more serious and asked, “So how was last night?”

Wooseok blushed instantly. He wanted to close the door and stop Seungyoun from teasing him but Seungyoun quickly grabbed the door and said to him with a naughty smile, “We can do it again tonight.”

And then Wooseok slammed the door on his annoying face.

 _He’s so bad!!! So mean!!! He’s bullying me!!!_ Wooseok patted his heart and thought.

In fact, Seungyoun was a little uncertain when he woke up. He heard Wooseok’s sound in the bathroom but wondered if he would be mad at him for doing all those things last night. That was why he decided to be that clingy with him, just to make sure someone was not an angry kitten. And of course, Wooseok’s reaction made him feel happy. It was a “mutual consent” last night, then.

Nevertheless, when Seungyoun went back to bed again, he began wondering what he really wanted from Wooseok. Yes, he had that strange possessive feeling about him a while ago, and last night he kind of tried to cross the line and received some “results.” Although he should be feeling happy, he felt something weird instead. Wooseok was so pretty and easy to tease, moreover, Wooseok looked so obvious that he wanted his touch and was “helpful” for him to unload his physical stress. But Seungyoun questioned himself: why Wooseok? why can’t I find a woman to do this?

Seungyoun had a short panic attack because of this thought. _Am I gay?_ _Or is it because I haven’t been in a relationship with a woman for too long and now anyone would work?_

But worse still, Seungyoun then desperately realized that Wooseok was enough, or more than enough. He could even imagine having sex with him… because he was beautiful enough last night, even without being penetrated…

Seungyoun fell into some dirty thoughts until his phone suddenly rang beside him. And it was from his manager.

“Seungyoun-ah, are you done with your passport stuff? Then come back.”

The text pulled him back to reality. He frowned because he wasn’t ready to go back to China yet. At last, he replied, “Do I have work when I go back?” –coz no, there won’t be work, he thought.

“Oh, there is a new variety show asking you guys to join. It’s a game show. A very good opportunity.” Surprisingly, there was actually a job!

Seungyoun slightly shook his head because compared to variety shows, he was hoping to have some job related to music, like, a comeback? His group hadn’t had a comeback for over a year already. In fact, this was a key reason that he didn’t want to stay in his Chinese agency anymore: he couldn’t see any promising future regarding music. It’s always variety shows, ads, etc. But of course, he was just an employee, so he replied, “Ok, when does the recording start?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’ll buy you a ticket for tomorrow morning. You need to fly to XX island, you have to transfer flights, too.”

“Wait what? Transfer? To an island?” Seungyoun immediately changed his attitude and mood because, wow, sounded like a vacation?!

Seungyoun loves sunshine, beaches, and the ocean, so the fact that this show would be filmed on an island made him become excited again. He quickly replied “ok” and forgot about all the drawbacks of his agency for now.

Wooseok’s job today was still to go to a music show. He told the makeup artist that he wanted to wear a choker today. That noona immediately found out the kiss marks and nodded. Of course, these staffs are good at keeping secrets like this. 

The filming of Wooseok’s performance was smooth as usual. But when he returned to the resting room, his manager became curious:

“Anything good happened?” The manager asked.

“Why?” Wooseok looked so innocent.

“You were smiling a lot, even when the camera was not at your face.”

“Ah, really?” Wooseok was watchfully nervous. Although, indeed, he had a good mood. Maybe because last night he “vented his stress”; but more importantly, Seungyoun was being so clingy and lovable this morning. Wooseok still tried to convince himself that he shouldn’t take last night too seriously. They were just “friends” and there was no “commitment” between them. However, he already confessed to Seungyoun and Seungyoun didn’t find him annoying. Although Wooseok still felt a little embarrassed about that confession, he secretly hoped that Seungyoun could at least take it as a “friendship” sign. Not to mention that it was quite normal for guys to do those kinds of things together, right?

Wooseok felt like he had talked himself through what happened since last night, and it suddenly made him even more pleasant.

Later, Wooseok received a photo sent by Seungyoun. It was him and ddadda having lunch together at his home. Apparently, Seungyoun called delivery and ate in the living room, while ddadda was beside him chewing his dog food in a small bowl. The picture was too cute and Wooseok burst out laughing. At that moment, he really wished that Seungyoun could live at his place forever. Seungyoun only stayed there for two days, but Wooseok already felt like these were his happiest days in a long while.

On the other hand, since a new job called, Seungyoun again postponed his plan to talk to his mother about his career obstacles and possible changes. But honestly, he felt lucky since he still hadn’t prepared his heart to do so. As the immediate pressure was gone, he decided to go home in the afternoon and give his mom a surprise. However, he ended up being surprised by the fact that his dad was back from his business trip, and was playing golf with mom.

“Your dad just came back from Abu Dhabi, how about we eat out tonight?” Mrs. Choi asked on the phone. She sounded apologetic because she couldn’t cook for her son this time.

“Sure, that’s fine. I’m leaving tomorrow so let’s just have dinner tonight.”

“Are you living with your members in the hotel this time as well?” Mrs. Choi was used to the fact that her son usually couldn’t come home even in Seoul.

“Ahh, yea,” Seungyoun answered, even though it was not really the case. Thankfully, he had Wooseok’s home to go back to.

It was super rare for the Chois could actually sit together for dinner. As a result, they usually didn’t talk about serious stuff. However, this time the topic somehow went to an uncommon direction.

“Son, these days I suddenly wonder, when can I have a grandson. Haha. But I know idols can’t get married before 30, right?” Mrs. Choi said on the dinner table. 

“What?” Seungyoun almost choked his food, “I, I’m still young. Why are you thinking about this?”

“Well, our neighbor Mr. Lee’s son, remember? He was even a year younger than you but he recently got married and their child was about to be born this year.” Mrs. Choi said while pulling out some photos on her phone.

“Just ignore your mom,” Mr. Choi chimed in, “She’s just lonely these days because both you and I are not home.”

Mrs. Choi gave her husband a blaming look, and then said to him, “But it’s true! You never come home, and our only son is working in China… it’s so hard to see him…”

“Then get a dog.”

“I’m allergic! And why are you compare our son to a dog?”

“That’s not what I meant…”

Seungyoun sat across the table and watched his parents having this trivial quarrel. He knew that they were not serious, they were having fun out of it. However, he kept thinking about mom’s words about “marriage” and “grandson”… He used to think these words had nothing to do with him, but since when did it become so near? I _s mom really that lonely? I thought she had many friends to hang out with…_

And then, Mr. Choi suddenly turned to Seungyoun again, this time more serious, “Son, don’t worry about home. As long as you work well and work on the things you love, that’s enough. You’re still young, don’t restrict your dream because of us.”

Mr. Cho is always like this, a seemingly visionary man who has full trust in his son’s “dream.” Since Seungyoun was young, his father would always put “dream” on a very high bar and educate him to take dreams seriously.

Seungyoun took a sip of water, but it was actually to hide his insecurity and lack of confidence in front of his parents. They trusted him so much, which somehow became a pressure for him. in fact, Seungyoun didn’t even know what “dream” was anymore. His experience overseas had made him ignore his passion, and the fact that his group wasn’t popular made him also realize the cruel reality. He became weaker and weaker with his spirit. For example, now he wanted to change jobs, but he had been undetermined because he was scared it would be a failure again. _Is it really ok to start over at the age of 22? Why the older I get, the harder I know what I really want?_

The dinner ended with Mr. and Mrs. Choi’s loving quarrels and some other important chats. Seungyoun walked his parents to the parking lot afterward. Before the two got into the car, Seungyoun suddenly asked, hesitantly, “Mom, Dad, are you going to support me no matter what?”

The parents looked at each other. Both of them could tell that their only son was a little nervous and thoughtful tonight. So Mr. Choi walked toward him and gave him a big hug, saying, “My son, we love you no matter what. But it’s also time that you be responsible for your own life. Also, if you can contact your mom more often, that would be nice, too.” He patted Seungyoun’s shoulder hard, and then walked back to his wife.

Seungyoun stood still and watched his parents leave. His father’s words lingered in his head afterward for a long time. “Be responsible for your life”—what does it really mean? In the past, father only taught him to “be happy, free, and do whatever your dream tells you,” but now, something has been upgraded. It was the first time that Seungyoun felt a new pressure requiring him to be a mature, responsible man.

_Am I being responsible for myself now?_

Seungyoun ended up being quite depressed and went back to Wooseok’s apartment building. Before he entered the lobby, two beams of light from a big car almost blinded his eyes.

“Damn, what the hell?” Seungyoun cursed impatiently. But as he walked closer, Wooseok suddenly jumped out from it.

Their eyes met for a short second, and then, a voice came out from inside the car, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon. Remember to practice singing in the morning.” It was clearly Wooseok’s manager, and the next moment, he saw Seungyoun, a “suspicious” man standing near the car. Just when he was about to ask “who are you,” he saw Wooseok grabbed this man’s hand and said, “This is my college classmate, he’s here for a few days.”

Although the manager was still visibly vigilant, he glared at Seungyoun and found that he indeed looked handsome and idol-ish. So he just nodded and then reminded Wooseok of some other work-related things, before driving away.

Wooseok watched his manager leave and then realized that he was still holding Seungyoun’s hand. He quickly shunned away and said, “It’s… been a long day.”

Seungyoun just coolly responded, “Yes, true.”

“How have you been today?” Wooseok tried to find some fun topic, but Seungyoun didn’t answer immediately.

Once the two entered the elevator, Seungyoun finally said, “I met my parents tonight. We had dinner together and… I ended up coming back to your place again.” His voice was cracked, and the tone was a little sad, too.

Wooseok shook his head in sympathy, “I always welcome you here.”

“Oh, really? But I don’t think your manager would agree.” Seungyoun suddenly put away his gloomy look and went back to that naughty face.

“He doesn’t live here. I do whatever I want.” Wooseok said with a cute witty smile.

And of course, the first thing when they entered the apartment was to receive ddadda’s warm welcome. Wooseok put his bag aside and kissed ddadda repeatedly as usual. Seungyoun just stood by the door and watched this lovely scene for a long time. This time, he wondered maybe this was indeed the “true” Wooseok—a little naïve and childish; a little ‘my-pace’; a little shy and lonely.

So after a while of observation, Seungyoun randomly asked, “You are very lonely, aren’t you?”

“What?” Wooseok was surprised by the question.

“I see that you are having tons of fun with your dog, but you don’t always chat with others on your phone as other young people do. Do you have friends?”

Wooseok put ddadda down. He wasn’t offended by the question, instead, he found it a good opportunity to prove his “honesty.” So he uttered to Seungyoun, almost proudly, “I don’t have many friends. That’s why I only want to play with ddadda. Any problem?”

“See, you are being defensive now. You were like this last night, too. I didn’t mean bad. I think it’s actually good…” Seungyoun hurriedly explained. But the unsaid truth was: _so that you can be mine._

And next, Seungyoun hugged Wooseok abruptly, and naturally. There was no reason. He just found Wooseok to be so healing and cute, and huggable.

The hug lasted for quite a long time. It was actually very soft and empathetic. Seungyoun, who normally would say something annoying and teasy, didn’t say a word during this hug. He just put his chin on the hollow of Wooseok’s shoulder and smelled his cologne.

And Wooseok just let him be, except that at one point he slowly surrounded his arms on Seungyoun’s back. Something must have happened at the dinner with his parents, Wooseok thought. Because he knew, Seungyoun would sometimes be quiet all of a sudden, and his eyes and body language would be full of melancholy.

“What’s wrong, Seungyounie? Anything I can help you with?” Finally, Wooseok patted his back and asked. However, Seungyoun just shook his head on the smaller man’s shoulder.

Wooseok sighed, and then said, “I, I don’t have many friends, but you are my friend, a very, very important friend. So please let me help you, ok?”

Seungyoun continued to shake his head, but a few seconds later, he pulled away and looked into Wooseok’s eyes sharply, “Then, can you always like me? Can you?”

As if he’d been waiting for this question for a long time, a witty smile climbed up on Wooseok’s face. Next, Wooseok put both of his hands on Seungyoun’s robust chest, the chest he’d been thinking about all day, and then, he stood on his tiptoes and gave Seungyoun a gentle kiss.

“Of course, I’ll always like you, my friend.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short cuddly chapter. :)

They still slept on the same bed, of course. But Seungyoun didn’t say much that night. He turned off the light and then turned sideways. He kept thinking about his father’s words—be responsible for your life—but was puzzled. He came back with a failed mission, and now he’s about to leave the next morning.

After a while, Seungyoun felt Wooseok’s forehead was against his back.

Wooseok had never wanted to touch someone this much. And he didn’t even want to touch anyone during his daily life. He enjoyed some distance from others and enjoyed being alone. However, everything changed after he met Seungyoun, again. Seungyoun had this magical attraction that kept drawing him in, making him want to break his comfort zone, making him feel eager, making him weak, and making him want to be loved.

Just now in the living room, it was his first time to kiss Seungyoun first, and promised him that he would always like him, “as a friend.” Maybe that was all he needed, a friend. And that was okay for Wooseok because he just wanted to be an existence in his life. Also, Wooseok still didn’t know what exactly his feeling for Seungyoun was, yes, even after the “confession.” Somehow, he was afraid to admit that it was “love,” because love came with commitment. But if it was just “friendship,” then Wooseok would rather only have this one friend.

He could tell Seungyoun was not happy tonight but since he didn’t get the reasons behind it, he decided to be clingy in bed. He thought it was a good way to make his “friend” feel better.

“What? Do you want to make out?” Yet the evil Cho Seungyoun suddenly asked him with a teasing laugh. Wooseok was taken aback and quickly pulled some distance. And then he calmed down and explained, “I, I just want to… be closer to you.”

“Emmm… wait, I think I said this morning that we can do it again tonight, right?” Seungyoun rolled back to face Wooseok and even against his forehead, “So it was really not enough for you last night, huh?”

Seungyoun’s soft and playful voice and his breaths made Wooseok’s heartbeat immediately rise. To be honest, Wooseok did wonder if something like that would happen again tonight, but he stopped this wishful thinking when he found out that Seungyoun was not in the mood. He told himself that the only thing he wanted was his friend’s happiness; he should be a good companion to him, that’s all.

So Wooseok took a deep breath and answered, “No.”

However, their faces were too close. Even in the dark, both of them knew that a kiss was too easy to achieve and too inevitable. Indeed, the next thing Wooseok knew, Seungyoun’s lips were already on his. However, it was a really shallow kiss, or maybe “touch,” as there was no desire or sexual tension sensed, either.

Wooseok didn’t move and let the kiss linger on his lips for another while. But this time he felt something distant but not foreign. He closed his eyes and soon felt Seungyoun’s arms around his body, very soft, very gentle. All of a sudden, he remembered, he remembered the Seungyoun that he met on the first day of university orientation, the Seungyoun who “forced” him to eat a bar of chocolate and smiled when he finished it. Maybe he hadn’t changed at all since that day. He’s still super caring and kind even though he might look intimidating at first.

Wooseok had been missing this feeling, because after that day, never had one person treated him as tender as Seungyoun did. It was so pure and simple, no purpose or greed in his kindness. Wooseok liked it. He wanted to be treasured like that. But his staff couldn’t provide, nor could his fans. All he wanted was a friend like Seungyoun, who would be of the same age, and would treat him purely, sincerely, without any purpose.

_Wait, but are we still “pure”? Then why is the word “friend” feels a little inaccurate?_

Wooseok asked himself and the more he thought, the more nervous he got. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t feel things at a night like this. It was a rare occasion when Seungyoun actually needed him, so he shouldn’t be thinking other things…

However, it was too late.

“Your heart… it’s beating like crazy.” Seungyoun murmured with a smile. 

“It’s because… you got so close to me…” Wooseok answered with a blaming voice.

“Oh really? Who leaned on me first?” Seungyoun asked.

“No, I just…” Wooseok wanted to defend but what could he say? He was the one who approached Seungyoun first and he really wanted to feel his body and temperature at first... But how could he be this blatant and tell Seungyoun the truth? So he said, “I just wanted to comfort you. I want to make you happier. You didn’t look well tonight, I want you to feel better. You need to care about your own feelings more; and I, I’ll also care about your feelings…” Wooseok didn’t know if he was making sense but at least he thought he didn’t cross the line. He just said something that a normal friend would say, right?

But Seungyoun suddenly burst out laughing. And again, his moved his forehead was against Wooseok’s, and using his fingers to rub the younger’s chin, “You know, it’s so strange. You are so healing for me. What kind of magic do you hold?”

Wooseok was ecstatic to hear this. He loved the word “healing” and loved the fact that Seungyoun found him healing. He didn’t say a word in return but just smiled in the dark.

“Ah, by the way, did you hold someone to sleep when you were young? Like a hugging bear? You know, as I’m holding you now, it reminds me of my teddy bear.” Seungyoun was obviously more relaxed than just now, and he continued, “When I was young, my parents always came home very late. And I only had that one teddy bear, haha.” Seungyoun laughed at himself because it felt weird to recall that he was actually that “weak” as a kid. But he suddenly remembered that when he came back from Brazil, he found out that his parents already gave the teddy bear to his younger cousin.

“But was your teddy bear as big as me?” Wooseok asked half-jokingly. It was funny that his focus was on the size, but also, understandable.

“Emmm, I don’t quite remember. But since I was small back then, maybe it was a similar size as you,” Seungyoun answered naughtily. He knew he would probably make Wooseok angry by indicating that he’s “small,” but it was just for fun.

Surprisingly, this time Wooseok wasn’t offended at all; instead, he suddenly became worried and said with an eager tone, “Then hug me more when you need.”

Seungyoun was a little shocked by the words he heard, or maybe, it was actually his heart that skipped a beat.

 _Ah, a “friend” like this is much better than a teddy bear. He’s cuter and he’s warmer._ Seungyoun sighed internally and went ahead to hug Wooseok tighter. Then, he muttered, “Ok, I know.”

“Are you feeling better now? Then let’s sleep, ok?”

“Ok. Good night, Wooseokie.”

“Good night, Seungyounie.”

Nothing more happened this night, but both of their hearts were so full. The peacefulness on the surface also covered some turbulence underneath, but neither of them wanted to reveal it.

And Wooseok had a dream. He dreamed that he went back to college. This time, Seungyoun didn’t leave in the second week. He stayed in Seoul and they spent four years together in the same class.

But Seungyoun didn’t sleep well this night, literally because he had to catch a flight in the early morning. Late at night, as he got used to the darkness in the bedroom, he could also stare at Wooseok’s sleeping face with some lights from outside the window. Wooseok looked so innocent and pure, and it seemed that his world was still full of flowers and butterflies. He was jealous, as he believed that Wooseok must have been taken really good care of by his company, and must have received a lot of love from his fans. Maybe he _was_ pure like that, he _was not_ pretending or being fake. Maybe he was indeed such an honest and authentic person as he claimed to be. He likes to be hugged, to be spoiled, to be loved… Seungyoun began to feel sorry that he took Wooseok’s personality the wrong way just a day ago. It was perhaps himself, who was mean and coward, and who thought about a person with bad intention…

Seungyoun slightly sighed and then patted Wooseok’s back, like what he used to do to his teddy bear. However, this time, he would never let anyone take his “teddy bear” away.

The next morning, Wooseok woke up finding a message on the dining table:

“Thanks for letting me stay. See you next time. –Seungyoun.”

What? He just left like this? Wooseok picked up the sticker and stared at it for a long time. He was very angry, though it was probably also because he had a short temper whenever he woke up early.

_He could have woken me up and then leave. Why leaving an old-fashioned message like this?_

_And “next time”? When is “next time”?_

Wooseok fell back into the sofa and stared blankly at the wall. Ddadda thus jumped onto his laps to comfort him. As he bent down and hugged ddadda tightly, a thought abruptly rose in his head:

_Will you hug someone else to sleep when I’m not there?_


	12. Chapter 12

A week after Seungyoun was gone, the Spring of Seoul officially arrived.

Wooseok took ddadda out for a walk, but even ddadda could tell that his dad wasn’t focusing on him at all.

Indeed, compared to the past when Wooseok would constantly hold ddadda up in his arms and kiss him instead of actually letting him walk, today, Wooseok looked absent-minded. He would even stand in the middle of the road and completely zoomed out.

Ddadda tried to get his dad’s attention but with no result. In the end, he leaned on his dad’s shoes and closed his eyes to take a rest.

Wooseok let out the 100th sigh of the day, and finally decided to sit down under a tree. Yes, Seungyoun had been gone for a week. Although they literally only spent two nights together, the sudden leave of him hit Wooseok hard. Even though he had busy schedules during the day, when he came home at night without seeing Seungyoun, he felt lost. The house became so strange as if Seungyoun had always been there and suddenly disappeared. Wooseok knew how much he missed Seungyoun, his skin, his muscle, his kiss, his warmth. It was like an addiction that he had helplessly sold his soul to already.

Seungyoun actually contacted him a few times this week. The second day after he left, he sent Wooseok a photo with the sunny beach scene and told him that he was on an island filming a variety show. Wooseok was happy for him because he knew Seungyoun complained about how he didn’t have many schedules. However, when Wooseok saw the other people in the photos that Seungyoun sent him the next day, including his group members and staff in the background, he would overthink and even become jealous. These people must know Seungyoun way better than he did. _So how close?_

Since Wooseok also debuted with a group first, he knew how crazy a group of boys could be. And now, every little thought made him nervous and anxious. Although he and Seungyoun finally became “friends” as he had wished, he was immediately sad to realize that he was probably just “one of them.” He was not special to Seungyoun yet, and that’s understandable because they were not together all the time. But it didn't feel good. It made Wooseok's heart restless. 

Moreover, Wooseok knew that he had no one, no place, to share this insecurity. And at the same time, he also felt ashamed of it. His feeling for Seungyoun must be unhealthy, but again, it was something addictive that he couldn't control. 

Ddadda whined beside Wooseok and brought him back to reality. Wooseok looked at his sleepy “son” and realized that he was, once again, fell into an unnecessary, or useless anxiety. He hugged ddadda and said “sorry my son.” And then he told himself that he really shouldn’t be this self-pity. He still had ddadda, who would always look at him as if Wooseok was his entire world. 

But this thought suddenly made Wooseok wonder: how could Seungyoun only see me and no one else?

Besides forming a relationship like him and ddadda, maybe the only way was to be Seungyoun's lover. However, “how can I become his lover?” Wooseok muttered to ddadda’s ears in frustration.

It was so wrong and helpless. Wooseok knew. Seungyoun was not his "belonging," but he saw Seungyoun as his “the one and only.”

“Wooseok-ah, you look tired and absent-minded. Are you ok?” The next day, Wooseok’s manager easily noticed his bad condition.

“Hyung, when can I date someone?” Wooseok asked in return.

“Wait, what?” The manager was shocked by the question and looked at Wooseok as if he was a ghost in the car, “Wh, what happened? Are you dating someone and didn't tell me? Which agency does she belong to? Tell me now!”

“Calm down, hyung!” Wooseok was a bit amused by the manager’s reaction. But on the other hand, he also knew from this reaction that it was definitely not the right time to date someone. Anyway, he explained, “I was just curious, do we have a policy about dating in the company?”

The manager sighed with relief, and then answered, “I remember our CEO once said to your senbae group that if they got a No.1 in a music show they could start dating, but that didn’t end up well and caused trouble to other agencies… So I guess, it’s a no-no. Or maybe when you enter the latter half of your 30s you could date someone.”

Wooseok nodded, “Hyung, do you have a girlfriend?”

“What? I’m with you all day long, do you think I have one?” The manager threw his hands in the air.

“How about in the past? Like when you were a high school or college student?” Wooseok seemed serious.

“Oh, of course I dated someone before. But now my job won’t allow me to have a girlfriend. I’m too busy taking care of you.” The manager said. But in the end, he became cautious again, “So why are you asking? You want a girlfriend now because Spring comes?”

“No, I’m really just curious.” Wooseok smiled and looked out of the car window. The sakura trees were blossoming. It was the best season in Seoul for sure. He then continued, “I just thought that I have written songs about love, but do I really know what it is?”

“Well, because it’s easy to write about love. Many musicians write about it because it’s the norm. Also, you can learn about it through novels and dramas, right? If every idol has to be in love or date someone in order to sing or write a song, then this industry is doomed.” The manager said factually.

“Emm, you are right,” Wooseok answered and pretended to go back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Seungyoun’s filming on the island was almost done. To be honest, he was quite happy this week--tired but satisfied. He spent every day at the beach, filming for the variety show. And at night, he would go to a nearby gourmet street with his members to have some seafood or drink local beers with them in the hotel room. Although their group was not the main cast of this variety show, when a bunch of young men were together, they could always find something fun to do. As a result, Seungyoun gradually forgot to contact Wooseok.

It was the last night of their stay, the five members finally had an unexpected but serious talk, of course, when they were drunk.

“Our contract has one year left, right? But see, we can only be unimportant ‘supporting cast’ on this kind of silly shows.” Member A complained.

“I know right? We are not famous at all. Only we see ourselves as ‘celebrities’ I guess. I think our agency is going to debut a girl group soon. Argh, I feel jobless.” Member B followed.

“Yea, we are a ‘China-Korea group’ but we are not famous in either country, haha. How pathetic,” Member C laughed bitterly and finished up the beer that left in the can.

“Maybe we should consider finding a fiancée now. So when the contract ends, we can go back to our hometowns and get married. Haha.” Member D joked.

Seungyoun was lying in one of the beds in the room and listened to his fellow members complaining and self-pitying. At the same time, there was an indescribable feeling rising from the bottom of his heart. He felt like he wanted to recall something, something important; however, because he was tipsy, he couldn’t really grasp what he wanted. Good thing that the other members didn’t pick on him and let him just be there resting.

Then, Seungyoun really fell asleep. He even had a dream. In the dream, he was back at that roof bar in Itaewon, with the same two of his producer friends. They drank a lot of soju and talked about life and career, and at one point, he suddenly smashed the glass cup on the table and shouted, “I’m over this shit! I’m giving up!”

But the next second, he was already in the restroom of the bar. He washed his deadly face and when he looked up in the mirror again, he saw a man behind him, a very pretty, pale man almost the same age as him. But his beauty was out of this world, making him more like a delicate doll. The man then opened his small and pinkish mouth, but the words coming out of it was not really friendly:

_“Is it because you never liked your job? Is it that you don’t feel happy in your group and you have no strength and reasons to keep going? Then why did you choose this career and go to China in the first place? Was it because you like music? Or you just wanted to be famous? Or something else?”_

Wow… that hurt! The Seungyoun in the dream almost got angry. But he suppressed his feelings and instead, smiled provocatively to the beauty in the mirror and said, “It’s none of your business. Who are you? Should I listen to you?”

“I, I’m your friend!” Unexpectedly, the pretty man suddenly became agitated. He stepped up and grabbed Seungyoun’s collar even though he was much shorter. It was then that Seungyoun noticed his big, shiny, and watery eyes. And just that moment, his heart softened. How could he treat someone like this meanly? So he said, “Why are you getting sad first, babe?”

_Wait, why did I call him “babe”?_

Seungyoun asked himself in the dream.

“I’m your friend! I care about you! If you really don’t like it, you can give up. But if you still like it and just can’t find the right path at the moment, then don’t give up. That means it’s not the end yet. You are not someone who gives up easily… But, but if you really are, just ignore my words. I’m sorry…”

_Oh, so that’s why he’s here? He actually wanted to encourage me?_

Seungyoun felt as if he was walking at the grey space between dream and reality. He “gazed” at the pretty boy's porcelain-like face and naturally cupped it… They gazed at each other, getting closer, closer…

“Hey, hey!! Seungyoun stop!”

Seungyoun was woken up by his teammate’s scream and laughter. He opened his eyes in shock and realized that he was actually caressing a teammate’s face instead of Wooseok’s from his dream. He hurriedly pushed him away, but then the other members all laughed harder: “You were the one who was trying to kiss him and now you’re the most panicked one, hahaha.”

“What did you dream? You really want to go back to your hometown and get married?”

“……”

Seungyoun was embarrassed. He laughed with them at first but then stopped with a more serious look on his face. He then sat at the side of the bed and kept silent for a while, which made the room suddenly so quiet and intense. 

“I mean… if we can’t see our future. Shall we just end this whole thing?” Seungyoun suddenly uttered.

“What?”

“What do you mean? I didn't know you are this drunk!”

The responses from his teammates were predictable. Indeed, they’ve been together for many years, and it would of course be shocking to hear one of them talking about a possible disbandment. However, Seungyoun felt that he had no time to lose. So he looked around the room and continued, “We don’t have a future here. We all know that. The agency almost gives up on us. If any of you don’t want to be an idol anymore, maybe it is best to go back to your hometown and change to another career. But I know all of us are talented in this industry and there is still time for us to find another way. If we don’t save ourselves now, no one’s gonna save us.”

Seungyoun let out all these thoughts in almost one breath, and then he surveyed each member’s eyes. Apparently, everyone was stunned by his sudden speech; but each of them was also clear that Seungyoun was simply stating the truth--a very cruel truth that they’d been avoiding confronting for a long time.

While the hotel room was in dead silence, Seungyoun thought about Wooseok, who, in that Itaewon bar and in his dream just now, asked about his purpose of being an idol, yet immediately had that cute watery eyes as if Seungyoun bullied him or something. All of a sudden, Seungyoun missed his kitten a lot, to the point that he wanted to fly back to Seoul right now and hug him.

Because Wooseok once said, “Hug me more when you need.”

Yes, he needed Wooseok right now. He needed Wooseok’s approval, telling him that: “You did well. You’ve made a brave, right choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the recent chapters tend to be short. But they were actually this length in my original Chinese version. And also I'm still dealing with jetlag and always feel sleepy at random hours of the day 😂. Plz bear with me reader-nims. <3


	13. Chapter 13

When everyone fell asleep, Seungyoun was still rolling left and right on the bed. It surprised him a little that his fellow members didn’t blame him or beat him up after he proposed the possible disbandment idea; moreover, they went ahead and had a more in-depth conversation. For Seungyoun, this meant that he had conquered one of the stressful obstacles, although there were several more to go. He thought that his future was not just his own thing, instead, he had to be responsible for his company, his manager, his parents, as well. So he had to "conquer" each one with patience and dare. He didn’t know if it would be a difficult journey to go back to Korea and start all over again, but right now the only thing he knew was that he wanted to go back to that one person who could give him strength.

Seungyoun moved to the balcony of the room which was just above the water. The night wind felt a little chilly, but the moon above was so bright and serene. Everything felt just right, and he pulled out his phone and called Wooseok’s number.

It should be midnight in Seoul, Seungyoun didn’t know if Wooseok had already slept. But when you dreamed of someone, you would miss him more than ever after you woke up. As for Seungyoun now, he missed Wooseok more than anyone in this whole world. His heart felt so empty that only Wooseok’s voice would fill it up.

Actually, Wooseok was just about to sleep when his phone suddenly rang and displayed the name of Seungyoun. At that moment he thought it was his illusion because Seungyoun seldom called him and would just text him or use kakaotalk.

Wooseok picked up the phone cautiously, and before he even said a thing, the voice on the other side abruptly said, “Babe.”

Wooseok’s heart almost exploded. He hugged Ddadda tightly in his arms and then said to the phone, “S, Seungyoun?”

“Yea, I want to call you that, can I? I just dreamed about you.”

Wooseok stayed silent for a while. He was happy and maybe ecstatic because he’d been worried all week that Seungyoun would ignore him. And now this call was like a surprise present, and Seungyoun was even telling him that he missed him. However, as someone who’s sensitive, he also sensed something usual, so he asked, “How are you? Everything’s ok?”

“Hmm, I'm fine.” Seungyoun smiled to the phone, “I just… really want to hug you right now.”

_Ah, so he remembers_. Wooseok thought to himself. _He remembers that I said “hug me more if you need.”_

“Are you tired? Or unhappy?” Wooseok asked carefully.

“No, neither. Can’t I hug you if I just want to? Aren’t you my little teddy bear?” Seungyoun asked with some giggles.

“Erh…” Wooseok lost in words because what Seungyoun said was so… romantic? touching? Anyway, it made his heart flutter and he immediately blushed like a fool in love.

“It’s ok. I’m fine. I just wanted to hear your voice. Say hi to ddadda for me, good night.” Seungyoun said all this in one breath and hang up the phone. In the beginning, he wanted to tell Wooseok about his decision, but after hearing Wooseok’s voice and imagining him holding ddadda alone in bed, or even blushing, Seungyoun suddenly felt enough. It was already so therapeutic for him.

The ocean at night was quiet and serene, the sound of waves caressed Seungyoun’s ears. He tried to curl up in the chair and meditate in this tranquil environment, but not long after, he got a message from Wooseok. It was a cute angry emoji with the texts: “Are you drunk? Why did you call me at this hour and hung up on me like that?”

Seungyoun buried his face in his knees and chuckled. Wooseok definitely had this magic to light up his world, and to calm his restless heart, even when he was angry.

Although Wooseok really likes Seungyoun, it doesn’t mean he would not get mad at him. So even though the overseas call was a nice surprise, it also made Wooseok worried in the middle of the night. He waited for another ten minutes, but Seungyoun didn’t reply to his text. Disappointed, Wooseok slid into his comforter with a pouty face, complaining to ddadda, “What was he thinking? Just call me randomly and say nothing? Am I his toy? Am I his ddadda?”

However, that night Wooseok ended up sleeping so well.

The next day, Wooseok had another music show to record, but the moment he opened his eyes, he felt something: _darn it, my throat condition is not good today._ It was weird since he didn’t catch a cold or eat spicy food the night before. Anyway, he quickly made himself some honey lemon tea and took some cough drops, so when the manager came to pick him up, he could at least speak without feeling painful.

In the car, Wooseok kept quiet. He tried to think what he ate yesterday that could be the cause of his throat pain. But he had no idea. And it couldn’t be that midnight call from Seungyoun, right? How could he hurt his throat just by talking to him?

“We can go to the hospital after the show. And I suggest you do lipsync today,” the manager said while passing him a bottle of warm water in the car.

“No!” Wooseok immediately shouted back but ended up coughing. For a solo singer, doing a lipsync was like a humiliation. Of course he would not accept that.

“Ok ok,” the manager backed up as he actually knew Wooseok would not like his idea. And then, he thought, “Ah, maybe you are allergic to the season!”

“What?” Wooseok was surprised because it never happened to him before. But instead of saying this, he suddenly sniffed and cried. He was a mess. 

“Gosh, I wonder if you can do it today. Can you sing?” The manager sighed and hurriedly gave him a tissue box.

Wooseok nodded. How could he miss a stage?

As a professional idol, keeping himself healthy was one of the very important tasks. So Wooseok could only blame himself.

During the rehearsal, he didn’t reach that high note in his song for two times. 

“It’s ok. We still have the actual live broadcast,” his manager comforted him during the break, “and let me ask you again, you really don’t want to lipsync? Just this once, ok?”

Wooseok shook his head fiercely.

The manager eventually gave up: “Fine, I’ll buy you some eyedrops for now."

Wooseok became more frustrated after the makeup artists left his resting room. He didn't know if he could present a good stage today and he had never felt this insecure. Later, as he decided to take some fresh air outside, he bumped into someone the moment he opened the door. He hurriedly apologized and was surprised to find out that it was his former team member named Z. He remembered that this younger member joined another agency soon after their disbandment.

The two looked at each other for about three seconds. Deep inside, Wooseok really wanted to leave and pretend nothing happened, but as the hyung, he shouldn't be acting like a coward. So he finally said, “How are you?”

“Not as good as you, but it’s ok,” Z answered, definitely not in a super polite way.

“O, oh…” Wooseok was taken aback by his attitude but he tried to maintain a confident smile.

“Hyung, are you not feeling well today? I saw your rehearsal just now,” Z continued to speak.

Yuck, how unlucky! Wooseok cursed internally. He didn’t want anyone to know that he wasn’t feeling well today, and being seen by his former teammate was even worse. But again, he kept that professional smile and answered, “It’s ok. Just allergy. I’ll be fine when I go on live later.”

“Our group’s performance will be after yours,” Z said nonchalantly, “welcome to watch us!” And then he left, leaving Wooseok standing there still.

This feeling sucked. In fact, for the longest time, Wooseok didn’t know how to face his former members because obviously now he has the most successful career. However, not many people know that he reached this place without much choice… _Ah whatever!_ Wooseok stopped himself from thinking about those things and went to the restroom instead.

The live broadcast started at 4 in the afternoon. Wooseok had already taken some medicine bought by his manager and used the eyedrop so he looked quite fine before getting on stage. Nevertheless, when he sang the first note, he knew he messed up. It was not the sound he was expecting to hear.

Although he hadn’t been a soloist for long, he had enough stage experience to know how to handle an “accident” like this. So he ended up finishing this stage without too much trouble. After striking an ending pose that felt like forever, he finally saw the director’s sign and got off the stage.

“Wooseok-ah, are you not feeling well today?” Another director noticed his condition and was quite worried.

“I’m sorry. It was my fault,” Wooseok apologized and thanked her. He was then welcomed by his manager who gave him a supportive hug. Before they left the scene, the director suddenly said, “If you are not feeling well, you don’t need to come to the curtain call later.”

“I’m fine, really, I’ll come,” Wooseok answered. He didn’t want to act like a weak patient. And what’s more, this was the last stage of this comeback season, of course, he wouldn’t miss the ending.

On the hallway, the manager started to comfort him, “It’s ok, Wooseok. You’ve sung for two weeks straight. It’s normal that one stage could be not as perfect as the rest. So don’t be too harsh on yourself, ok?”

“No need to say this to me. It’s just an excuse.” Wooseok smiled bitterly, “The viewers won’t know that you’re not feeling well that day.”

As he kept walking and blaming himself, he suddenly felt someone tapping his shoulder. He looked around and oh, it was Z again. Their group was indeed waiting to go on stage after his. 

Wooseok’s manager was quite new to the company so he wasn’t familiar with this guy. But even he could sense some weird tension between them. And when he looked back at Wooseok again, he saw that Wooseok had an awkward smile on his face and said “fighting!” to Z, and then walked toward his resting room quickly.

The curtain call was like an even worse nightmare. First of all, Wooseok didn’t get nominated as the winner, which was not surprising because there were more popular idols and he also performed “badly” (in his opinion) today. Second, all the flowers and confetti on stage triggered his allergy and suddenly his eyes and nose felt horrible. He had to run to the last row, cough his lung out and wipe his tears, meanwhile hoping the camera wouldn’t catch him. There were tons of idols and singers on stage, swinging with the winner's song. And no one noticed that he was slowly crouching down and coughing constantly. Usually, he would always be alone during the curtain call and it never bothered him that much; but today, he just felt so sick, so wronged, and so pathetic of himself. Moreover, he could even hear the laughter from his former teammate Z, he was with a new group, new friends, and they would always be together... 

In the end, Wooseok didn’t even know how he made it back to the resting room. In his manager's words, Wooseok looked like he had just went to a funeral or something—tears were all over his face and his nose was running terribly.

“Look at you! I told you to not go!” The manager blamed him worrisomely and gave him some tissues. He then pulled a sweatshirt over Wooseok’s head to help him change so that they could go to the hospital next.

"Ding!" Suddenly, Wooseok’s phone on the makeup table received a message.

“Who’s that?” Wooseok’s head was still in that big sweater.

“Emmm… let me see… Seungyoun?” The manager took a look at the screen and told him.

“What???” Wooseok immediately got excited. He pulled the sweatshirt down and grabbed the phone from his manager’s hand.

And message read: “I’m here to hug you.”

_What? What does he mean?_

Wooseok was all of a sudden clueless. But a few seconds later, a photo came through and it was Seungyoun’s selfie… in front of the building that he was currently in! _So Seungyoun is here???_ Wooseok couldn’t believe his eyes because he thought Seungyoun was definitely still on that island.

“I want to hug you. Right now.”

Another message made the phone vibrate in Wooseok’s hand.

And in no time, Wooseok pushed his manager aside and ran out of the room.

Since Wooseok had stayed inside the building for a long time, the strong sunlight almost blinded him when he ran outside and entered a big garden area. He had a basic idea about where Seungyoun was in that photo, but the garden felt like a maze that it took him several wrong turns to finally see a tall shadow. The familiar height, familiar built. Yes, it was definitely him!

Wooseok almost flew into Seungyoun’s embrace since the older already stretched both of his arms out.

“Wow, Seokie!” But the sudden hug still got Seungyoun a little startled.

“How did you come in?” Wooseok didn’t even look at him. He just enjoyed being inside this warm and robust chest again. And also, since he was still crying due to allergy, he kind of wiped his face on Seungyoun’s clothes, too. ;)

“I checked your schedule on your website and came here right after I got off the plane. It’s easy for me to get into this TV station because… emm… I have connections,” Seungyoun explained and then rest his chin on Wooseok’s head, whispering, “I missed you, Wooseokie, I wanted to hug you so bad.”

Wooseok felt so blessed but also puzzled. He wouldn’t doubt that this rich boy from Cheongdam-dong could use his “connection” to get in anywhere, but he just wondered if what was happening was just a dream.

“Why did you miss me? I thought you were enjoying the beach.”

“How about I come back?”

“Hmm?”

“How about I come back to Seoul, settle down, and be closer to you?”


	14. Chapter 14

They hugged for a long time under the sun. Since Wooseok didn’t speak for a long time, Seungyoun finally released him, but then, he saw that his little kitten was crying.

“What’s wrong??? Why are you crying???”

“Ah,” Wooseok quickly wiped the tears on his face using the back of his hand and explained, “It's allergy. I’ve been like this for a while…”

Seungyoun burst out laughing, “So you wipe your messy kitty face on my shirt huh?”

“I’m sorry,” Wooseok pouted. However, the next moment his eyes met Seungyoun’s loving and intense gaze, he suddenly felt shy and looked away blushing.

“You seem very happy to see me. So, like I said, how about I come back and start over again in Korea?”

Oh, that’s right. Seungyoun was asking him about this just now before the hug. But Wooseok lost all his thoughts because Seungyoun’s mere existence had already taken over his whole world. A while ago, he was on the verge of a breakdown because of all the troubling things that happened to him today, and then his man just appeared out of nowhere and lent his strong and reassuring chest to him, comforted him. Where else could he find a gift like this?

“Will your current agency let you go?” Wooseok calmed the butterflies in his stomach and asked more seriously.

“I don’t know. I’ll just pay the damage fee I guess,” Seungyoun answered casually.

“And how about the other members? Are they ok with it?”

“I talked with them last night. We all agreed that there is no future for us in this group.” Seungyoun continued to answer with a nonchalant attitude.

“I see…” But Wooseok replied thoughtfully.

For Seungyoun, he was hoping for something different from Wooseok. He wanted to see him being excited and happy for his decision, he wanted his approval. However, the sudden silence between them made him a little unsettled.

“What’s wrong, Wooseok? You are the first one that I told my decision to in Seoul. I want to come back to do something I really like. And, I want to see you more.” Seungyoun explained more.

Wooseok still didn't say a word. Of course, he wanted Seungyoun to be back so that they could be “together.” But why? Why was there something itchy in his heart about Seungyoun’s decision?

“But… I don’t want you to regret…” Wooseok finally said back to Seungyoun.

“What do you mean? I won’t regret it. If I can’t see the future, shouldn’t I be stopping now and try something different? Wooseok, do you still remember when we met at that rooftop bar, I said I wanted to give up, but then you scolded me and questioned if I had a dream, if I wasn’t serious from the beginning, and if I just wanted to be famous?”

Wooseok was surprised. Yes, he remembered. But he didn’t expect Seungyoun to take his words from that night so seriously. He could still recall that day when he immediately regrated about what he said and even wanted to apologize. But then, the kiss in the bathroom happened.

“I’ve been thinking a lot. I think you were right. I wasn’t happy being an idol in China and in that group. There is nothing to drive me anymore. But in Seoul, it’s different. I saw my high school friends who are making music and living a productive and fulfilling life; I saw you, who was shining brightly on stage even as a soloist and composer. I think these are what I want. I want a new start. Can you understand me?” Seungyoun kept talking sincerely.

Wooseok could sense the determination in his words, but still, he became worried and scared. He had his reasons…

“It’s going to be hard…” Wooseok muttered as if he was talking to himself.

“What?” 

“A new start… will be lonely… and…” Wooseok sniffed and rubbed his eyes again, this time not sure if it was because of the allergy or the fact that he had to recall those bad memories.

“And what?”

“And I don’t want to see you being hated by your friends…”

***

Wooseok never told Seungyoun that when his previous group disbanded, he had already been isolated by the rest for a long time. The members didn’t cue him during concerts and fan signs, didn’t engage him on variety shows; what was worse, his belongings had been disappearing in the dorm. Until one day he found a parcel from his mom was left in the trash room, he finally had to admit that he was being bullied.

Wooseok was not someone who would initiate things. At first, when he didn’t know why his teammates became cold to him, he still tried to get along with them. But one day, the CEO of the agency suddenly told him alone that the group would be disbanded soon and the agency would only keep him because he was the most popular member of the group and could even write songs.

“No way!” Wooseok exclaimed in disbelief.

“But you _are_ the center! The other boys are not as good as you and they are not as passionate as you. Can’t you see that your group is falling apart already? We will debut a new, younger group soon, and we want you to be a soloist. Isn’t this good for you?” The CEO told him as if it was a huge offer.

A few days before the group’s farewell dinner, Wooseok was being called out by a few members to an empty room. Although he wasn’t beaten up like something that would happen in a drama, these members who entered the agency with him at the same time and spent the past few years together finally vented all their anger and jealousy honestly and ruthlessly.

“You just have a pretty face, that’s it.”

“You only need to be a pretty face, why do you always write songs to make yourself stand out?”

“……”

That day, Wooseok was hurt hard, mentally.

So on the day of the farewell dinner, he only showed up at the BBQ restaurant briefly, took a few polaroids with the members, and then left.

He didn’t know what their plans were after being driven out of the agency. And since he was the only one left, he was not in the position to ask. He deleted all their contact information and avoided searching for news about the group and members' names. Meanwhile, the agency was in a rush to push him forward and debut as a soloist. So not long after the disbandment, Wooseok had been branded all over again and reentered the market.

Wooseok enjoyed writing music. Even though he was by no means a pro, he liked it. It made him feel fulfilled and accomplished, made him feel like he actually had some talent and not just visual. However, for a long time, whenever he had to appear in public or perform on stage alone, he always felt guilty as if he shouldn’t be getting the chance. He was afraid that people would talk dirty about him, degrade his music, accuse him of stealing his other members’ career, so on and so forth.

_I wanted to be a member of a kpop group. –_ That was his dream when he left his hometown and came to Seoul.

_I thought we were friends…--That was what he had been thinking for the past 3 years._

But in the end, he only realized that maybe sticking to what you like will make people hate you.

It was impossible for Wooseok to not blame or even hate his former members for treating him that way, he’s not a saint, after all. He would get angry every now and then at home, questioning why those people would bully him for something he couldn’t even choose. However, as the most successful one, how could he really express such agony to anyone?

But it was lonely. Really lonely. He would always stand in the back row during curtain calls; he would be against his will to act silly and funny on variety shows. Yet when he came home facing the empty room, he felt like he had nothing. The quiet home felt like hell.

That was why he got himself a dog. Ddadda is his savior.

So when he heard Seungyoun easily saying that he wanted to give up being an idol in the group, something triggered him. He was, for a moment, very angry and sad, so that he questioned Seungyoun about his dream and purpose. But in fact, those were the questions that he had been wanting to yell at his former members, except that he would never dare to do that.

_“Is it because you never liked your job? Is it that you don’t feel happy in your group and you have no strength and reasons to keep going? Then why did you choose this career and go to China in the first place? Was it because you like music? Or you just wanted to be famous? Or something else?”_

***

“But I won’t regret it! I wouldn’t have gone through all those journeys and detours before this if I knew I would always be regret!” Seungyoun’s voice pulled Wooseok out of his bad memory, “Every new start is exciting. Don’t you think?”

Wooseok was not prepared for Seungyoun’s hyper optimism. He looked at Seungyoun in bewilderment. Last time they met, he could tell Seungyoun was puzzled and moody, but now he seemed refreshed and confident, almost reminded him of that teenager who was late, unbothered, and totally cool at the university orientation. The Seungyoun in front of him right now was fully charged, full of courage, and maybe, nothing would ever strike him down. 

_Ahh, maybe that’s right. We were different from the very beginning._ Wooseok thought. It was because they were different that he was inevitably drawn to him five years ago; and it was because they were different, that he was again, fell in love with him five years later.

Now facing his true heart, Wooseok realized that, indeed, it was love. He wanted to love Seungyoun and wanted to be loved by him. Since he was already a “solo,” there was nothing for him to lose. He would never think about those fake “friends” in his life but only focus on this one “friend” who would not deceive him and would fly all the way from an island back to Seoul, just to hug him. 

_But am I too selfish?_

_How can I get his “love”?_

_If I can’t have it, shall we just keep things as it is now?_

The insecurity and doubts always hit Wooseok faster than light. He convinced his own heart that he wanted Seungyoun to come back, but at the same time, he wanted to make sure that Seungyoun would not get hurt like he once had.

“But what if your teammates hate you for leaving them? Aren’t you afraid of the unknown?” Wooseok grabbed Seungyoun’s hands and asked carefully.

“As long as you don’t hate me, I don’t care about others. Wooseok, how should I explain? I feel like my time is running out, that’s why I want to come back now. I need to run.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to catch up with you. I can’t waste any day. And if I don’t come back now, what if you fall in love with another person?”

Wooseok wasn’t sure about the last sentence he just heard. He looked at Seungyoun in surprise and somehow, the silly words slip out of his mouth, “You mean, I can’t love other people?”

And now it’s Seungyoun’s turn to be confused, “Didn’t you say you will always like me? You promised me!”

“But, I said it because… we are friends…” Wooseok awkwardly explained even though he himself wouldn’t even believe his own word. However, didn’t Seungyoun say that he wasn’t interested in dating a man? That was why Seungyoun made him suffer all this time!

“What the heck?” Seungyoun sighed. And then he shook his head and suddenly seized Wooseok’s wrist. As their eyes met for the longest time, Seungyoun finally pushed the smaller against the wall and started to kiss him.

Although they were still in the garden of the TV station, this spot was quite far-off and normally no one would detour and pass by. Of course, Seungyoun had explored the whole area and chose this place to meet Wooseok so that he could do this when it’s necessary.

And for Wooseok, everything happened too suddenly. When he realized that they were literally outside in public, he tried to run away, but obviously he could not resist Seungyoun’s dictating hug and the hot and fervent kiss that he had been longing for. He eventually surrendered because he couldn’t lie to himself about how much he wanted this. And when Seungyoun’s tongue messed up with his own, he told himself that, “friends” would never do this.

Wooseok loved it so much. He slowly hugged Seungyoun’s back and their bodies slightly moved to cater to each other’s lines. Because of the allergy, Wooseok was soon out of breath. But Seungyoun was being more and more aggressive this time and even held his head against the wall, not letting him go. Strangely, it aroused Wooseok even more. He moaned and whined in between the kisses and even wanted to embed himself onto this man's body, becoming his tattoo.

_I must be crazy. I must be crazily in love with you._

When Seungyoun finally left Wooseok's plump lips, the younger almost collapsed inside that chest. Wooseok felt like his whole body was burning, but it was ok, it was great.

“See, babe. This is the ‘like’ I was talking about. I want you. I want to 'eat' you. I want to make you mine. That’s why I’m here. I would never do this to another guy, only you. So please, be my baby only, ok?”

_Oh, so he didn’t just want my “hugs”?_ Wooseok looked at Seungyoun’s sincere face with tears rolling in his eyes, and then, the voice of his heart came out without even passing his brain: “Me, me too. Seungyounie, I want you… I only want you… please, love me more… love me harder…”

“See, I told you that every new start is exciting!” Seungyoun smirked and then whispered to Wooseok’s sensitive ear, “let’s go to your home. I’ll make you mine.”

\--Fuck “friends.” To hell the “regrets.” For now, I only want you.

\--And I’ve been yearning for you, since the day we met.

[The End]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Now like I said, I'm going to take an indefinite break from writing seungseok. But I'll still support them for sure.
> 
> You can find me on twitter if you want to chat. @Meow_62  
> Love you all reader-nims. 😭😭😭

**Author's Note:**

> I'll stop writing about seungseok after this one. As usual, I'm still working on it in Chinese at the same time, but hopefully it's much shorter than before.   
> Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments. I really love my reader-nims! ❤️❤️❤️


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